What's Left
by onlychair
Summary: After trying to kill himself again, and everyone is broken and in despair, Chuck is given another chance, to change everything...What if he never slept with Blair in the limo? Chuck Bass finally has the chance to be someone else. CB of course!
1. Chapter 1

**This story is a sequel to one I just wrote called He Can't Have Her. But I think it should be really easy to understand without reading the first one. **

**First time readers-**

**You just have to know the pain points and those are…After seeing that Nate and Blair were together again, Chuck ended up attempting suicide. He went through a lot of problems in the story…the hospital, the Ostroff Center, his friend-turned-enemy Nate (they had many fights). But eventually Blair and Chuck got together…They were happy for a little while. But Chuck got jealous and he fought with Blair after seeing Nate was at her house. She ultimately said, "I will never be with you." This sent him into a spiral downwards, which resulted in him trying to kill himself once again.**

**This story is dedicated to two of my friends. Arlia practically gave me the whole idea for the story! So I owe a lot to her. And my best friend, Kodi, gave me the idea of what to do for the first chapter. So thanks guys! I hope you like it.**

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Lily's hand shook as she reached out for his body. Covered in blood, he laid there. Still as a rock.

She took a gasp of air in, as she had been holding her breath as soon as she saw him.

Her knees were touching the blood pool around his lifeless body.

She felt sick to her stomach, and was having trouble taking normal breathes. They were short, wheezing breaths of air.

"Ma'am? Ma'am, are you still there?" She heard from the phone that she had dropped on the floor as soon she had called 911 and told them about him and to come right away.

She didn't answer and she got up the courage to touch his body. She finally laid her hand on his chest. Then moved up to his face. It was cold and pale. All the colors of his cheeks were long gone.

"Charles?" She choked out. She thought maybe he would still be able to hear her. She was too naïve.

His expressionless face was still and had the look of death.

She began to sob and reached out to hold him. She cradled him in her arms, and tears rolled down her face into his hair.

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"Please, please. Take a step back miss. You too ma'am." The paramedic struggled with Serena and Lily as the tried to stay close to him. They were wheeling him down the hall on a stretcher. The destination was the ER…or the operation room. They weren't entirely certain where they were taking him. "Please, you can't go any further!"

A few nurses held onto Serena and her mother to stop them from following him anymore.

Serena burst into tears, Lily hadn't stopped crying. "Where are they taking him?!" The younger blonde shrieked.

One nursed held Serena in her arms, shushing her. "They're going to do all they can do to help your friend."

"He's not my friend, he's my brother!" She screamed at the nurse which caused heads to turn. She shoved the nurse away from her.

"Okay. I'm sorry. They're going to try their best to help your brother." she rubbed her arm, soothingly. "Will you and your mother follow me?"

"No, I want to wait here for him." Lily said.

"It might be awhile, you'll probably want to sit down."

"She said we'll wait here for him!" Serena snapped again.

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"No! No! Nooo!" Blair bawled and yelled at the top of her lungs. She held him in her arms. She hugged him tightly and intertwined her fingers in his hair.

Lily and Serena sat around Chuck on the hospital bed in sorrow. Eric was leaned against the wall, a look of anger plastered on his face.

Serena had a blank stare; as she drained out her best friend's painful shrills.

Somehow tears still found a way to fall from Lily's eyes, when you think she would be all out of them by now.

Eric was growing tired of Blair and her voice. He turned around and punched the wall. "My god, Blair! Shut the hell up!" he left the room in a quick, angry pace.

Her eyes were already red and puffy, her nose was running and her voice was cracked. "What happened?" She barely got out in a small voice.

Lily just sat there, still as a fucking statue. But Blair's question snapped Serena out of her trance. "You tell me." she said in the bitterest voice possible.

Blair didn't understand what she meant by that, but she couldn't be bothered to ask. She was too concentrated on Chuck, tears streamed down her face, not taking a break, or even slowing down a bit.

Lily's eyes never left Chuck either. She held his cold hand loosely. She looked very motherly sitting next to him at that moment, as if she'd raised him his whole life.

Serena glared at her friend. She was the one who did this to him. She still hadn't found out what Blair had done to upset him so much, but she knew it was bad. It had to be. To make him do this again.

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Chuck opened his eyes slowly and groggily. As soon as he registered where he was, he cursed in his head, "This is ridiculous," He said out loud.

A second attempt and still not dead.

He looked around the room to find it empty. Why weren't Serena, Eric and Lily here?

He tried not to even think about that other person that should be here. 'I don't want her here anyways," He lied to himself.

Without even thinking it through he got out of the bed. "Hate these damn hospital gowns."

He was not staying in a hospital again. He was not going back to the Ostroff center. He wasn't living this nightmare again.

He tried to stealthily walk out into the hall. There was a closet near by and he headed straight towards. In there were some extra scrubs.

He took off the standard hospital gown and put on some dark blue colored nurse scrubs. It wasn't the best look for him, but better than some backless night gown.

The fact that he had no shoes was a small problem, but he was hoping no one would be looking at his feet.

He stepped out of the closet and tried to blend in with the nurses and doctors walking down the hall.

No one looked at him suspiciously; in fact no one looked at him at all. He supposed he seemed pretty convincing.

Without stopping to see if anyone was watching him he walked straight towards the front entrance and out the doors.

He tried to hail cabs that were passing by, but that didn't work. They all zoomed passed him. And he didn't have his phone to call his limo.

He really hadn't thought his brilliant plan through till the end.

The bus it was then…

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He got dropped off at the closest place possible to the Palace. Chuck was relieved to get off the bus. It seemed…unsanitary. Someone even sat next to him. He shuttered at the memory of the dirty old man sitting to close to him for comfort. Wasn't he a little old for a perverts to like him? But the guy hadn't even looked at him. It was rude, but he brushed it off and walked inside the hotel.

He realized he couldn't go home because he didn't want Lily knowing he had left the hospital. Although, they would all find out sooner or later. And she was going to have a fit, but he didn't care because he wasn't going back there.

So the only other place he could go was his own suite in the hotel. He kept it even after he moved back in with the Van der Woodsen's, just in case he needed somewhere to hide out by himself. And this was definitely the time he would need that suite.

He found he could open it without the key; it didn't use electronic key cards so he must've left it unlocked the last time he came there.

Chuck sat plopped down on the sofa and caught his breath for the first time since he had left the hospital. Now what, he thought. What was he supposed to do now?

Lily, Serena, and Eric were eventually going to be looking for him. It was kind of pointless to be hiding out, but he was doing it anyways.

He stretched out across the couch; he felt tired but was unable to fall asleep. Shouldn't he be so exhausted he wouldn't be able to keep his eyes open?

He tried to calm down from everything. This gave him time to think about what he had done.

He had done it again. Tried to kill himself. Tried to commit suicide. Tried to leave this life behind. Why hadn't it worked this time? He felt like a failure. Not even able to kill himself correctly. How pathetic was he? What would Blair think? Of course his mind wandered to her…

He thought about what she might be doing right now. If Serena had called to tell her. And why they weren't at the hospital. He started to worry about them and what they would think happened to him. His new family was making him go soft.

Chuck couldn't stop thinking of what they might be doing at this moment, so he decided to see for himself. He knew they would be concerned about him missing. He just knew. At least, he hoped they were concerned.

He left the room and rode the elevator up tot the pent house, the Van der Woodsen home. It dinged to a stop quickly and he stepped out onto the tiled floor.

He could hear people yelling from another room. A lot of anger in their voices. He walked towards the voices, not knowing where else to head. As he got closer their voices quieted down and he could make out whose was whose. He heard Serena say, "He's been dead for a week now, Mom. We've got to start making some arrangements. I can't be the one taking care of everything here! I can't take care of you and Eric either. You guys need to suck it up and help me." Chuck hadn't heard Serena ever sound so pissed off before.

He was hiding behind a wall listening to their conversation secretly.

"Maybe you could be a little bit more sympathetic to your brother and me. Because there are some people who actually cared about him." Lily said back to her.

Who was this Him they were talking about?

"Yeah I know. I cared about him too. But I'm not sitting around crying about it all day. We still have responsibilities. The hospital said we had to do something soon or else they were sending him to some cheap funeral home where they probably steal from the dead. And I don't know about you, but I think he deserves better than that."

Chuck was confused by their conversation; he had no clue who they could be talking about. The only person he could think of who they thought was in the hospital was…him. But they were talking about this person like they were dead. And he wasn't dead. He looked down at his wrists where his stitches from the doctors sewing him back up should be. He started gasping for air as he stared down at his wrists. His heart was beating as fast and as hard as it could, it pounded against his chest. On his wrists were two bloody, gaping wounds. He wasn't stitched back up. His skin was wide open, but he felt nothing. It was like he didn't even have wrists.

But all this was impossible, he reassured himself. He was just as much here as Lily and Serena.

He stepped out from behind the wall into their view. But they didn't turn to look at him. They were still looking at each other.

"Lily? Serena?" He tried to talk to them. But he got nothing in response from them. This wasn't possible. He wasn't dead. He was perfectly alive. He was walking around wasn't he?

He walked out right in front of them, but they stared straight through him. "This isn't possible!" He screamed out loud.

He thought about all this. "I'm still alive. I'm real. I'm standing right in front of them. I'm not dead." He told himself all the things he believed were true. "I'm not dead, you guys!"

But Serena and Lily continued to argue. "Doesn't Blair need you now too? Why aren't you spending time with her? You guys need each other now." Lily told her in a very motherly way.

"I'm not talking to that bitch."

"Why not?" She seemed appalled by Serena's choice of words.

"Why would I? This is all her fault."

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Because it's the truth. I saw Chuck only a few hours before he died, and he was very upset about something. And it had to do with Blair."

"What?" Lily wanted to know what had happened.

"I don't know what it was. He never told me and I never asked her about it."

Chuck was beginning to feel nauseous. This wasn't happening. This couldn't happen. Because things like this didn't happen.

"Don't you think you should ask her about? I'm sure she feels really guilty." Lily stated in a sad tone.

"Mom! Don't feel bad for her. She doesn't deserve it. She killed him. It's her fault." Serena was definitely holding a grudge.

"Don't be angry with her. She didn't have any control over this."

"I don't understand you. You're so sad about him being dead, but you're not even mad at the person responsible for it?!"

"I may be sad, but at least I'm not angry," She said meaning Serena was the angry one. "Honey, we can get threw this together." Lily put a hand on her daughters shoulder and prepared to giver her a hug but she jerked away.

"I'm going to talk to Blair. She's to blame. I'll show you." She strutted away.

Chuck watched her go and was getting ready to follow her when he saw Lily walk closer to Eric's bedroom door. "Sweetie. Please open the door." She said and rested her head against the door.

There was silence from the other side of it. "Please, Eric. Open the door. You've been in there for three days straight now. You have to come out sometime."

But there was, again, no answer.

Chuck felt a wrenching ache at his stomach. Seeing people caring about him this much seemed improbable. He always assumed that nobody would really miss him when he died.

He left Lily still standing there with her head leaned against Eric's door and he went to catch up with Serena.

All this was still very unreal for him.

He was walking next to Serena like he would if he was really walking next to her, but she had no idea he was there. It felt strange. Almost like he was watching people when he shouldn't be. He could see how sad her eyes were. Although she talked and acted like she was angry, Chuck could tell she was just hiding her sadness from people. He knew that's what he would do.

He tagged along beside her all the way to Blair's; he stuck out his hand to touch her a few times but pulled back each time. He knew as soon as he went to touch her and felt nothing there, all this would become reality for him.

Looking at Serena's face and watching the way she walked you could tell she was on a mission. She had something to accomplish.

They reached Blair's apartment building and Serena went inside without stopping for a second. But Chuck was a little bit more hesitant. Did he want to see Blair? Because she wouldn't be able to see him.

He felt more alone then ever.

But he followed Serena in and up to Blair's level.

"Ms. Serena. It's so nice to see you." Dorota greeted her.

"Is Blair here?" She said in a no-nonsense, snobby way.

"Yes. She is in bedroom with mother."

Eleanor came down stairs; she looked tired but still had a certain amount of class to her walk. "Dorota, will you try to talk to her? She's still not listening to me. Serena!" Her daughter's friend caught her eye and she suddenly perked up. "Aw, how are you sweetie?" She gave her a small hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm fine." Not showing her true emotions.

Chuck stood back, watching them. He would felt strange, as if he were spying on them. Not that he didn't already do that regularly, but he was just so close to them and they had no clue he was there.

"I bet this is hard for you. And your mother. How's she doing?"

"She's trying to be strong. Mostly for Eric. He's taking it pretty badly."

Eleanor had an expression of pity, "It's been really hard for Blair too."

"I'm sure." Serena showed no sympathy on her expressionless face.

"She's in the denial stage at the moment. She's not accepting it." She shook her head sadly.

"May I speak to her?"

"Of course. Go on upstairs."

"Thanks." Serena trotted up the stairs and Chuck followed slowly passing by Eleanor and Dorota. He was so close he could smell their perfume, but they were completely oblivious to him.

He took his time walking up the curving stairs, he was nervous to see Blair. Was she even upset about him being dead?

Serena knocked once and opened the door. Chuck followed in behind her, he hung his head down, not ready to look at Blair yet. But he did as soon as she spoke. "Serena!" She wiped some tears from her eyes, "What are you doing here?" She sniffled, "I thought you'd never come and see me."

"I didn't really want to, but I needed to talk to you."

"I don't know why you're mad at me."

"It's you're fault he did it. So what'd you say to him?"

"What are you talking about?" Blair seemed genuinely confused.

He wanted to reach out and touch her. He was only a few feet away from her, but he refrained from moving.

"You said something to him to upset him, now tell me what it was."

Blair face was filled with so much sadness, Chuck felt tears filling up his eyes. Why was he feeling sorry for her? She was the reason he did this!

"I didn't know he would get so upset." She shook her head as tears strolled down her red cheeks. "I didn't know." She cupped her face in her hands.

"What did you say to him? Just tell me, so I can go." Serena was cold to her best friend, but then again, she didn't consider Blair her best friend anymore.

"We just got in a fight! Nothing to hurt himself over!"

"Well, obviously there was something, or else he would be alive now."

His stomach churned as their words hit him. This couldn't possibly be real. It's all a dream, he told himself.

Blair hung her head in shame, "I told him that I could never be with someone like him, that I would never be with him."

Serena's eyes were daggers as she stared at Blair, "And what brought you to say that?"

"We got in a fight. Because Nate was in my room, and they fought. And Chuck tried to choke him." She looked up with tear stricken doe eyes.

Serena's eyebrows rose, "I thought you were in love with Chuck, not Nate."

"I do love Chuck!-"

Serena cut her off, "Did. You _did_ love him."

Blair narrowed her eyes and continued, "I _do _love Chuck, but I wasn't about to let him kill his best friend."

"But after all this you fought? And told him you'd never be with him? Why is that?"

The brunette's lips quivered, "I was mad…If I could I would take it all back." She looked weak and tired. Chuck had a lot of sympathy for her, although he shouldn't.

But Serena still did not care about her broken and shattered friend, "Well I got what I came here for, I should go now."

"You can't stay for a little while?"

"No, I have to make some arrangements for my dead brother, since my mother is incapable of doing it." Her words pierced Blair like a knife, _my dead brother._ "I'm sure she'll send you an invitation to the funeral though, because she can't see that this is your entire fault." With those last words she left the room, leaving her friend crying on her bed.

Chuck stood there; if she would be able to see him it would be very awkward for both of them. But since she couldn't, it was only awkward for him.

"You know…Blair…I'm standing right in front of you. And you can't even see me." He said in a sad tone.

Her shoulders shook as she whimpered and cried.

He reached out his hand to touch her shoulder, which was only covered with a thin night shirt. He slowly inched closer and closer to her. He put his pale hand on her. "I'm sorry." He said as a tear fell down his cheek. He felt nothing touching his hand. Where he should've felt the warmth of her body, he felt…nothing.

Blair jerked her head up suddenly, and Chuck quickly removed his hand from her shoulder. He watched her as she looked around the room with her teary eyes.

She shook her head and tried to clear her mind.

"Wait, Blair, can you feel me?" He touched his hand to her face and swiped at her cheek with a confused look.

"Get a hold of yourself." She said out loud.

"No, Blair! I'm here! Blair! I know you can feel me." He touched her arm.

She stood up from her bed and walked into her bathroom and shut the door. He listened to her turn on the water to the shower. But instead of hearing the water start to hit her body, he still heard in hit the bottom of the tub.

Then he heard the awful sound of her hurling into the toilet.

So far, being dead really sucked.

**Sorry it took my so long to write this! It was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. I'm not very fond of this first chapter, but I know it'll get better. Sorry if you don't really like the whole idea of him being dead. I know it's probably not what you were expecting. I wanted it to be different from the first one. But if you don't like it, the whole idea of it is going to change pretty fast, so still keep reading. It will get better. Also, please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for any typos. I just wanted to get this chapter finished and didn't feel like revising it. Hope you enjoy it!**

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**Chuck discovered being dead was pretty boring. Since no one could see him, going to a bar was impossible. Why he didn't just drink the liquor at home, he wasn't sure. But he had no appetite. No desire to eat or drink. This was reasonable since he was dead. He didn't sleep either, which made the day even longer and more boring. He mostly sat around his suite. Being in the Van der Woodsen home was to dreadful. Lily hardly ever stopped crying. Serena was never around; he wasn't sure where she went. And Eric never came out of his room. Only at night when everyone was in their bed would he come out and get something to drink and eat, then take it back into his room.**

**He stayed away from Blair. He didn't see her once after that time he followed Serena there. He couldn't bear seeing her. Remembering how hurt she was and how horrible her friend treated her.**

**And when he had touched her she felt it, he knew she had felt it. But he didn't want to visit her again. It saddened him too much. He did realize that none of this was her fault. Just because she had hurt him, didn't mean she forcibly put the knife to his wrists. Maybe she wasn't even the reason he did it. He didn't know. And he hated that.**

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**A large crowd of people were surrounding the church that was right next to the cemetery. The same one that Chuck had visited only six months ago to burry his father. But now it was him that people had came to mourn. **

**Watching so many people sad, and because of him was a strange thing. Although he had no clue who any of them were a tip off that they were probably just faking their emotions. You couldn't actually cry real tears for someone you never even knew. **

**He followed Serena, Lily, and Eric into the church. They were all dressed in black. What made him feel even stranger was that Lily and Eric appeared to be sadder than they were at his father's funeral. But Serena had a stern and serious look. She was showing no emotion. He just shook his head at her. She should be kinder to her family, and Blair. She was being just like him at this time. He would've shut everyone out and acted as if he didn't care in the least. But this was unlike her. She was the one who took care of everyone. And now she was leaving them to fend for themselves. And was telling them to suck it up and get over it.**

**They all sat down in the front row, next to the Humphrey family who were already seated, while everyone else found seats behind them. There were very few people trickling in now. He spotted Nate and Vanessa closer to the back. He had a few tears running down his cheeks and she was comforting him. Then Blair walked in. She was one of the last people to enter. She moved very slowly, which was reasonable since she looked like she could fall over and die any minute. She was surprisingly thin, and it had only been a week since he'd seen her last! Her make-up was smeared, it looked as if she had made an effort to put some on then given up. Her hair was tangled and her outfit was not well put together. It didn't look bad; it just wasn't up to par with Blair's normal standards.**

**She walked her frail body up to the front row of the benches, and walked right past him. Serena was sitting at the end of the bench and looked up at Blair with an almost disgusted sort of look. Blair stood there looking back at her, "Move over." she commanded.**

"**What?" Serena asked sounding surprised.**

"**Move over." She said again. Her eyes were droopy; she looked like she hadn't slept for awhile. **

**But Serena didn't move, Lily saw that her daughter was being stubborn and was about to tell her to make room for her. But before she could Blair pushed Serena's arm so she slid over a little. Then Blair sat down next to her. **

**Only a few moments later a priest got up in front of the huge crowd to say something from the bible. Chuck didn't hear a word of it. Knowing that his dead body was in the casket that was only nine to ten feet in front of him was a bit distracting. Also Blair, who was right next to him, was shaking so much. Tears rolled down her face and down her neck, and her shoulders shook furiously. He couldn't help but to reach out and grab her hand. He had almost forgotten that he was dead for a moment, that he wasn't actually holding her hand because he was so focused on comforting her. **

**When he placed his hand on hers she looked down at it. She couldn't see anything on her hand, but she could feel something. "Its okay, Blair, I'm right here." He said softly, pretending that she would hear him. She took a few deep breaths and tried to get a hold of her breathing. "That's better." He even dared to touch her face again, and she began to wipe away some tears.**

**After they were through in the church, they went outside. To put his casket in the ground.**

**Everyone was standing in front of a huge ditch in the ground. The box that his body was now in was being lowered into it.**

**Right now would be a great time to wake up, he thought.**

**Blair's crying had started up again, worse now. It was like she was shrieking as loud as she could. People across the cemetery would be able to hear her. Her howling drowned out Lily's crying, Eric's too. **

**And for the first time, he saw Serena crying too. The tears rolled down her cheeks and she tried to stop them. But sometimes you can't help but to just let them fall. So she did. She let them fall off her face and onto the grass. He was surprised there wasn't a large puddle where Blair was standing. Even touching her again wouldn't quiet her. **

**He drained her out. Let all the thoughts of other people blur from his mind. His casket had been lowered into that whole in the ground and people had begun to cover it with mounds of dirt. **

**Chuck felt like screaming, "I'm here! I'm right here! Why can't you fucking see me?! Fuck!"**

**But he didn't. He stayed silent. There was no use. No one would hear him anyways, so what was the point?**

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**After all that, there was still a wake to be had.**

**Most of the people from the funeral were there. Lily tried to get around and talk to all of them. Blair sat in a corner with Cyrus and Eleanor near by. They brought her food but she didn't touch it.**

**Nate and Vanessa were talking to Serena and Eric. "I'm sure Blair doesn't really want me here, so we were just stopping by." Nate said.**

"**It doesn't matter what she wants. You were Chuck's best friend. Plus this is my house. She doesn't matter." Serena told him.**

"**It's just…we didn't really end things well. I feel terrible. I mean my best friend is dead! And I feel like it's my entire fault." Any person could tell that he felt guilty. It was written across his face. Vanessa was holding his hand, she looked very supportive. But also sad too.**

**Serena gave Nate a hug, and Chuck looked over at Blair glaring at them from across the room. **

**It was unfair of Serena not to be mad at Nate, but to be mad at Blair. Nate didn't deserved to be mad at, but neither did Blair. Especially not Blair.**

**Chuck caught Lily talking to his doctor from the Ostroff center. "Lily, how are you doing?" He shook Lily's hand, sympathetically.**

"**I'm trying to do my best. It's hard though. I'm trying to be strong for Eric, but Serena, she's so broken. I don't know what to do." She cupped her face in her hands, then she looked up, "Why did he do this?" Lily asked the doctor, confused.**

"**Chuck was clinically depressed. There was nothing anyone could've done to stop him. He was just an unhappy person. If he hadn't done it that day, he might've done it the day after or the day after that. If anyone's to blame it's me. He should've been watched more carefully, I should've pressed harder for medication…I'm sorry"**

"**Oh, it's okay." She sounded hurt, but she didn't blame the doctor. She gave him a hug and then went to find Rufus.**

**Dan and Jenny were standing around, looking out of place. They looked around at other people, "I can't believe this. All these people and they probably didn't even talk to him once. I hate it." Jenny said to her brother.**

"**So do I." Dan muttered and looked down at the food he was holding.**

"**You miss him don't you?" Jenny asked, less of a question, more of a statement.**

"**It's weird, I feel bad. For treating him the way I did. I judged him a little, but why should I? I didn't even really know him."**

"**You know, you may have said you hated him, but I think deep down you actually liked him. 'Cause you felt bad for him. I don't think it makes you a bad person." Jenny was being very comforting to Dan, but hiding anything she really wanted to say.**

"**What about you?" Dan looked sad then changed the subject from him to her, "You hated him. Had the right to, too. How do you feel about all this?"**

"**I feel bad…for Lily, Serena, Eric…Blair. I feel guilty, just like you. I wish I could've known him better. Instead I'm left with the memory of the guy who almost raped me at the Kiss on the Lips party. And I know he wasn't really like that. I mean look at how much Blair loved him. She's so hurt." Jenny looked at Blair with an expression of pity. **

**Dan pulled his little sister into a hug. **

**If only Blair had someone like that she could lean on right now, Chuck thought, watching the brother-sister moment.**

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"**Maybe, you could spend some time with Cyrus and me? It might make you feel better." Eleanor tried to comfort her daughter as they walked into their lavish home. Blair was resting her head on Cyrus' shoulder and Eleanor had a hand on her back. Chuck was sure they were worried about her health as much as he was. "We could go out to your favorite restaurant. Watch your favorite movie. Anything." Her mother suggested again.**

"**I'd just rather go to bed." She said in a tired voice. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her hair was tangled and messy.**

"**Would you like us to help you upstairs?" Cyrus asked her, being an attentive stepfather.**

"**No, I'm fine, thank you." She held onto the banister and carefully made her way up the stairs and into her room. Chuck followed closely behind her, but not after hearing some hushed words between Cyrus and Eleanor.**

"**What are we going to do? I can't just keep watching her do this!" Eleanor was having the last of Blair hurting herself, "I thought it would end soon, but do you see her? She looks like a walking corpse!"**

"**We can schedule a doctor's appointment for her as soon as possible. But right now we need to let her be alone." Cyrus led his wife away from the stairs and into the other room.**

**Blair closed the door behind her, and lay down on her bed. Without removing her coat or her shoes she pulled the blankets over her.**

"**Blair, you can't do this forever. You need to move on." Chuck said and moved closer to her bed. "I know if you try hard enough, you could. Just forget all about me. Remember the movie of your perfect life? Just edit me out of it." He lay down beside her and whispered, "Forget I ever existed." **

**Blair shook her head.**

**Chuck scrunched his face up in confusion. "Blair, can you hear me?"**

**She nodded.**

**He was unsure what to say…he had only said all those things because he was sure she wasn't able to hear him, but now she could. He wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. "I'm sorry, for doing this to you." He whispered to her again. "I would take it all back if I could."**

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**After his night with Blair, Chuck was sitting around the Van der Woodsen home, hoping that he could get one of them to hear him too. It wasn't possible that it was just Blair that could hear him.**

**But so far, he hadn't gotten one of them to turn their head or even think they heard a small noise. He was about to give up and go to his suite to get away from all the sadness there when Blair stepped out of the elevator.**

**Lily was upstairs in her room, and Eric was, of course, locked away in his. Serena was the only who heard the elevator so she walked out into the living room. "Blair, what are you doing here?"**

"**Hi." She said trying to sound happy, but it really just came out more sad.**

"**What do you want?" Her voice was impersonal. "I was just about to go out so you caught me at a bad time."**

"**Oh, I'm sorry, where are you going?"**

"**Just out…I'm meeting Dan and Jenny. They wanted to take me out somewhere, to be nice."**

"**Oh, right." Blair said then hung her head down.**

"**Don't you think she deserves someone to take **_**her**_** out? To make **_**her **_**happy, Serena?" Chuck said in a loud angry voice. Blair turned around and looked right at him, and he caught but turned right back to facing Serena.**

"**What?" Serena asked her.**

"**Nothing." She shook her head, and rubbed her temples.**

"**Why are you here, Blair?" The hostile blonde crossed her arms.**

**There was a long pause before she answered, "Can I go in his room for a little bit, please?"**

"**I don't know-" She was hesitant.**

"**Please, Serena. I haven't bothered you; I haven't asked you for anything." She wiped a tear that had begun to fall from her bloodshot eyes. "Just let me go in there for a little while. Please?"**

**Serena thought about it for a moment. Although she hated Blair right now, she was right about not bothering her, or asking for anything. "Fine. But I'm not staying; I have to go meet Dan and Jenny. Put everything back where you found it or Lily will freak."**

**Would Lily be the one freaking out, or was it actually Serena? Chuck couldn't imagine Lily getting mad about that, but he could see Serena screaming her head off 'cause Blair moved a lamp two inches to the left.**

"**Thank you." Blair said with a half smile on her face.**

**Serena half smiled back at her and actually said in a nice way, "You're welcome…I'll see you later." Then she exited in the elevator and Blair proceeded to Chuck's room.**

**She slowly opened the door and closed it behind her. He studied her every facial expression and every move she made. **

**She stood there a few moments. Very still and not doing anything. Then with one sift movement she laid on his bed and buried her head in his pillow. Taking in his scent that was still left there. She hadn't smelled it in forever, at least that's what it felt like to her.**

**She lifted her head up and just rested it on the pillow now. He could see the tears streaming down her face now. "I miss you." She muttered. **

**He walked over to her on the bed and stroked her arm. Seeing her like this was the worst thing that could happen. It was hell seeing everyone that cares about you broken and torn and you can't do anything about it…because technically you don't exist. Chuck would've taken actual Hell over this any day. **

**But maybe it was a blessing in disguise. That he didn't have to leave Blair yet. He couldn't imagine how he could now, being stuck someplace between living and dead. All he wanted to know now was why this was happening to him, did this just happen to everyone? **

**He was stroking her face now, wishing he could really hold her in his arms, actually feel her skin. And before he could even stop himself from doing it, he kissed her. But as soon as he realized he had done it he pulled away. It was quick. A small lingering peck.**

**Blair touched her lips softly. Rolled her dainty fingers over them. **

**Chuck felt awkward, "Sorry." He muttered. Sorry? He asked himself. Really? That's what you want to say? **

**She stretched her arms out in front of her, searching for him. He backed away a little bit. But she only moved closer to him.**

**She couldn't see him, so she looked somewhat like a blind person trying to find something to hold onto.**

**Finally he stopped moving around, and her hands found his face. "Chuck?" She stopped denying that it was just her imagination making him up. He was really there.**

**He had no idea how to react to this. **

**She could feel him. So what? He was still dead. What difference did it make if she could feel him or not?**

**He didn't know what to do. He was just staring her in the face, still as ever. So he did the only thing he knew how to do. Run away.**

**He busted through the bedroom door and ran to the elevator. And left Blair, alone, in his room.**

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Later, after he was sure Blair wouldn't be there anymore, Chuck went back to the suite. He missed his family. Actually, he missed everyone. It was lonely, being dead but not dead.**

**He was following Lily and Serena around and watching what they were doing. Like tidying up the place, since they had been preoccupied by his death too worry about cleaning the house.**

**Serena entered his room, most likely to check that Blair had left everything perfectly the same. "That bitch!" She screamed a few minutes later.**

"**Serena? What's wrong?" Lily asked, concerned. She poked her head into the room and looked around to see everything was alright.**

"**Nothing, Mom. I have to go talk to someone; I'll be back in a little bit." She brushed passed Lily in the doorway and held a quick pace to the elevator.**

"**Serena, wait! Where are you going?" She chased after her daughter.**

"**Blair's." She said simply and stepped into the elevator, and Chuck followed.**

"**Why are you being so hard on her? She's your best friend. So what are you holding the grudge for? She loved Chuck just as much as us, probably even more."**

"**Because I miss him! I wasn't ever nice to him, Mom! I'm blaming her because I need someone else to blame!" Some tears were falling down her face and she tried to stop them.**

"**Oh, Honey…" Her mother reached out to her, but Serena pushed her away.**

"**I just need to go, Mom. I'll be back later." And the elevator doors closed.**

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Chuck followed Serena to Blair's. He didn't know what she had done, but he knew Serena was pretty pissed about it.**

**She barged into her apartment and up the stairs, not saying hello to Dorota, who looked confused.**

**She opened Blair's door without knocking and slammed it shut.**

**Blair was flustered and she sat up on her bed, but before she could speak Serena yelled, "Where is it Blair?" She looked around her room.**

"**Where's what?" She answered in a snooty way. Blair wasn't going to take being bullied by Serena anymore. **

"**You know exactly what I'm talking about, or did you take more than that?" **

"**I don't know what you're talking about…" She said, arrogantly. **

"**His scarf! Where is it?!"**

"**Whose?" Blair acted like she had no idea what she meant, but the smirk on her face told a different story.**

"**Damn it, Blair!"**

"**Maybe you should leave." She stood up from her bed, but pulled the blankets up further as she did. Serena caught what she was doing and pulled the covers away. She snatched up his scarf with super quick reflexes.**

"**I can leave now; I got what I came here for." She began to walk away cockily, but not before Blair grabbed one end of the scarf and started pulling on it.**

"**Give it back!"**

"**No!" **

**They pulled back and forth on it, struggling for the win. They had about the same amount of strength, so it was a fair fight.**

"**Let go you're going to rip it!" Blair yelled at her and tried to pull harder; when this didn't work she pushed Serena as hard as possible. She slammed into the wall; this gave Blair time to grab the scarf. She held it close to her body, and made sure there was no way Serena could take it again.**

"**Blair! What's your problem?!" She screamed while standing up from the floor.**

"**I don't have a problem! Its just too much to ask to have his scarf?! You have everything! Everything of his! I have nothing! Is it so hard to believe that I just want one thing to remember him by?" **

"**But its his scarf, it's important…my mother would like to keep it."**

"**Your mother? Really, Serena? Why don't you just tell the truth already?! You're the one who wants to keep it!"**

**She was silent, she didn't want to admit to what Blair was saying.**

"**I know how you feel." The small brunette told her.**

"**No you don't! You were actually pretty nice to him most of the time! When was I ever nice? When did I ever help him out?" And so the truth came out, she really wasn't angry at anyone but herself. Blair approached her, in an affectionate way, but Serena only pushed her away. "Fine, you can keep the scarf. And anything else you took. But if you go looking for your pin, you won't find it. I put it in his suit before they buried him. I thought he deserved it, and I didn't want you giving it to someone else."**

"**I would have never."**

**Serena just nodded her head, she knew Blair loved him and didn't want to argue with her anymore. She began to walk towards the door to leave.**

"**Serena, wait! Please." **

"**What?" She stopped and turned to face her, but didn't walk closer to her.**

"**I need to tell you something."**

"**Okay. What?"**

"**I just really need to tell someone this. And you're my best friend so…"**

"**What is it?" She acted like she was a little concerned for her friend.**

**Blair was hesitant to tell her, there was no way she'd believe her but she really needed to tell someone. Telling her mother wasn't an option since she would probably send her to a mental institution, and for some reason she really didn't want to tell anyone else. There was a long pause before she said anything, and Serena was still waiting for her answer. "I feel him...like he's with me."**

"**What are you talking about? Chuck?"**

"**Yes, Chuck. Its like he's here."**

"**I'm sure that's normal, B. A lot of people get that feeling." She said comfortingly. She hadn't called her B since he died.**

"**But its not like that. It's like he's physically here. He'll hold my hand or touch my face. And sometimes I can even hear him."**

**Serena was silent, she didn't know what to say to that. She thought it was okay that Blair maybe thought she felt Chuck with her in the room or something. But actually thinking he's touching her or talking to her was something else.**

"**Say something." Blair told her. She cursed herself in her head. She should've know not to tell someone! It would just make her sound crazy!**

"**I'm sure it happens to a lot of people, Blair. Its just your way of coping. To keep feeling him and hearing him."**

**She just shook her head, she knew Serena thought she was insane or something and was trying to make her feel better.**

**Serena gave her friend a hug, it was a small one, and she barely touched her. But she was making an effort. "Listen, I've got to go. But we can talk later, okay?"**

"**Okay." Blair sniffled and Serena left the room.**

**Chuck stood watching her. He didn't know if he should touch her, or what he should do. He wanted to make her feel better, make her feel like she wasn't crazy. But he was afraid that might just make it worse.**

**She brushed the tears from her eyes, "Are you here?" She asked him.**

**She surprised him, but without taking a minute to think about what to say, he kneeled down by the bed and held her hands. "Yes, Blair, I'm here."**

**Tears started running down her face again. "Don't leave."**

"**I won't. Ever." He told her, and he meant it too. He would stay with her as long as possible. She started crying harder at his words.**

**There was a small knock on her door. "Blair, honey?"**

"**Yes?" She got a hold of her crying quickly.**

"**Are you alright?" Eleanor asked her. You could tell she was really concerned.**

"**Yes, Mother, I'm fine." Blair reassured her, she just wanted her to leave her alone.**

"**Well, it's time for your doctors appointment." **

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Chuck didn't feel like he should follow Blair to the doctors. She would need to be alone for that. It felt to personal for him to spy on her.**

**He went home instead. It was dark and everyone was in their room. Lily had asked Rufus to stay with her, so he had asked if Dan and Jenny could stay too. She agreed thinking it would be good if they were all together at this time.**

**Dan and Jenny were sprawled out on the living room floor. Eric had said no to them staying in his room, he didn't want anyone with him. Lily hadn't bothered to ask Serena, thinking she would say no immediately. And there was no way she would let them stay in his room. So there they were, on the living room floor. Chuck stopped to look at them for a moment. It was kind of ironic that he was the one that would bring all of them together like this. It was still hard to believe that they had cared about him at all.**

**He continued walking, and went down the hall to Eric's room. He went inside for a brief moment, only to see him sleeping. His room was a mess of clothes and trash. Very un-Eric like, but then he tried to think of what he would be like if Eric had died. Much, much worse he supposed.**

**He went on to Serena's room. He didn't know what he had expected to see. Maybe her sleeping like everyone else? But she was awake. Sitting on the edge of her bed, holding her head in her hands and rocking back and forth.**

**He could hear her mumbling something, or maybe she was crying. He couldn't tell.**

**He stood in front of her, and proceeded to put his hand on her shoulder.**

**She quieted and sat up straight. She wiped her cheeks and looked as if she was getting ready to say something. "I don't know if I believe what Blair said or not. But for some reason I feel like you're here, and I just want to say some things. To get them off my chest…because I don't know if I could take it any longer if I don't." A few tears trickled down her cheek and she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry if you feel like I ever treated you badly, you didn't deserve it. I never understood you very well, and I should've gotten to know you better. Blair loved you so much, and Eric loved you…and I loved you, even if I didn't show it. You were a really good stepbrother. And I'm sorry," She began crying again, "for ever acting like I didn't care about you."**

**Chuck was silent. He stared at her the whole time, with wide eyes. Then sat next to her on her bed and put his arms around her shoulder until she stopped crying.**

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**The next night he went to see Blair again. He had told her he wouldn't leave, and she was probably already sad he was away for so long, so he had to go back.**

**It was around ten when he went, he thought everyone would be in bed and he could just sneak in and maybe watch her sleep until she woke up. But Cyrus and Eleanor were awake, talking in the living room when he got there.**

"**I'm still worried about her." Eleanor said.**

"**The doctor said to just give her time, he said the medicine will help."**

"**But what about her appetite! She hasn't eaten anything more than a spoonful of soup in a week!"**

"**Dorota is up with her now, I'm sure she can get her to eat at least a little."**

**Chuck didn't bother to eavesdrop on the rest of their conversation, he needed to see Blair. **

**In her room, Dorota was ushering her to eat some of the soup. "Dorota! Just leave me alone! I want to be alone!"**

**Dorota was taken aback by her yelling. She set down the spoon slowly. "Please, eat something, Miss Blair." She kissed the top of her head. "And take your medicine. It will help you feel better."**

**She left her room slowly, keeping her eyes on Blair the whole time. Then she shut the door quietly.**

"**Why aren't you eating? You have to eat something, Blair." He asked and walked over to her on the bed.**

**He knew she had heard him because she immediately perked up. "Please eat." He said sadly. And without delay, she put three spoonfuls of soup in her mouth. "Eat the rest." He brushed her hair with his hand. And she gulped down the rest of the soup.**

**She smiled and looked down at the empty bowl, then looked around the room. "Why can't I see you?" She sulked.**

"**I don't know." he answered her.**

"**But you can see me?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Will you kiss me again?"**

**He laughed at her, "Blair, its pretty sick and twisted relationship when I'm basically imaginary."**

"**I want to be with you." She said sadly.**

"**I want to be with you, too. But that's not going to happen now…" Chuck told her. He knew it would crush her, but he didn't want her getting her hopes up that one day they could all of a sudden be together again. He was dead. And that was the way it was. It couldn't be changed.**

**She hung her head and look at her empty bowl of soup. Also set on the tray was a glass of water and her pills. She looked at the pills for a moment and picked them up. Holding it in her hand, she read the label. 'Take one a day'. She popped one pill in her mouth and took a drink of water. But before she even thought through what she was doing, she put another one in her mouth, and another, and another.**

"**Blair! Stop! What are you doing?" He yelled at her, confused.**

"**I want to be with you." She said popping the pills in her mouth. Tears were running down her face onto her bed.**

"**Stop! Blair! Stop!" He tried to take the bottle away from her, but he couldn't grab it. He was shaking her shoulders and he continued to tell her to stop, but she drained out his screams.**

**His knees buckled and he begged her to stop. He was on the floor, begging her to stop, but she still wouldn't.**

"**Please, please," He started begging to someone else entirely. "Please, let me go back. Let me go back." he whispered. He didn't know who this was meant for. He wasn't sure if he believed in a God. He was here wasn't he? Made him unsure if there was a god out there. "Let me change all this. I can fix everything."**

**Blair was finishing the whole bottle of pills now, he was sure it wouldn't take her that long to start having convulsions. And he didn't want to see it. He shut his eyes tight and thought about everything that had made this happen. He could change everything if he could just go back…**

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

…**When he opened his eyes, he wasn't in Blair's room anymore and he wasn't groveling on the floor, begging her to stop.**

**When he opened his eyes, he was looking straight at 16-year-old Blair Waldorf, in her all her beautiful glory. She was wearing her slip and her lips were colored red. Just as he remembered.**

**They were riding in his limo, back from Victrola. Memories of that night came flooding back to him.**

**Blair turned and looked at him, and said with a sultry voice, "Thanks for the lift home."**

**He remembered the way he had looked at her that night and what he had said, 'You were…amazing up there.' How could he forget?**

**But this time he got that dumb gaze off his face, and didn't say that. This is what he needed to change.**

"**Anytime." he answered. "I just hope I was able to distract you for a little bit."**

"**Yeah, I had a lot of fun, for once." she smiled at him.**

"**And don't worry about Nate, you guys have been dating forever. He's going to come to his senses and apologize." He would make sure of it…**

"**Thanks, Chuck."**

"**And if he doesn't, you could always do that little dance you did up there. That will definitely make him apologize."**

"**Oh, no, that was just for you." She teased him.**

"**You are too cruel, Waldorf."**

**She laughed. He had to stop himself from staring at her. The Chuck Bass she knew wouldn't stare at her longingly, because the Chuck Bass she knew was a boozing womanizer that only liked her as a friend.**

**The said few words the rest of the ride. Once the limo stopped at her apartment, she turned and looked at him. "Thanks for a fun night."**

"**Of course, that's what friends are for. And if you need any help with Nathaniel just call me." he hoped that sounded like something he would say back then. This was harder than he thought.**

"**Thanks," She smiled shyly, "Goodnight."**

"**Goodnight."**

**She shut the door and he watched her walk up to the doors of her building, before she went in she turned back and looked at the limo.**

**There, he thought. It was over. There was no such thing as Chuck and Blair anymore. She would never know how much she loved him. All the lies and hurt would never happen. A lot of stuff would never happen…**

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**There. The whole Chuck being dead thing is over. Hope you liked this chapter. And sorry for not updating it sooner. But now that I have all summer to write I'm hoping to update all my fanfics a lot quicker. Review it and tell me what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for any typos. I just wanted to get this updated for you guys as soon as possible! :] Enjoy!**

**________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

Blair entered her building and rode the elevator up to the top floor. She realized she was still only wearing her slip and she must have left her dress back at Victrola. But she didn't really care. She didn't like the dress that much anyways.

Something felt strange and odd to her…like something was missing. She walked out of the elevator and into her home. It was late, but it didn't matter since her mother had already gone to bed. She probably assumed she was out with Nate. 'Ugh, stupid Nate.' She thought. He hadn't even said anything when she asked if he loved her! Nothing! He just stood there like a dumb fool! All he needed to do was say yes. Even the nod of the head would've done fine!

The feeling that something was missing persisted. Did she forget something in the limo? No. She hadn't brought a purse. What else could it be? It wasn't the dress that was bothering her. Whatever, it didn't matter. If it was important she could always get it from Chuck tomorrow.

He had been awfully nice to her tonight. Not that he was ever mean to her, but tonight they seemed like real friends. She smiled a little, remembering getting up and dancing for him on that stage. She'd never done anything like that before.

She skipped up the stairs and to her bedroom; she was in a much better mood than when she had left. Chuck had made her forget all about Nate, and she actually had fun.

She went to bed without thinking of him, and how upset she was that they broke up. She kept remembering dancing for Chuck.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chuck had gone back to his suite in the Palace Hotel. His suite all to himself. He was unsure where his father was. He was angry at him right now for ruining his relationship with Lily. He remembered because that day had turned out to be a pretty memorable day. What with Blair loosing his virginity to him and all. How could he forget?

He lay in bed thinking of what really happened this night, and how he'd changed his whole life. And Blair's too.

But it's what had to be done, he told himself over and over. All the times he hurt Blair, or she hurt him, would never happen.

He remembered that tomorrow was Blair's birthday party. He would go of course, this time he was actually invited, since he would never be un-invited. And he knew exactly what he was going to get her. There were just some things he couldn't bring himself to change.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He moped around the suite the whole day, what had he done back when he was sixteen anyways? Then later in the afternoon Nate arrived. Said he was having trouble with his parents and that they wanted him to get back together with Blair.

"Don't you love her?" Chuck asked his best friend. This time he didn't have the secret agenda to keep Blair and Nate broken up so he could make his move on her again.

"Yeah, I guess, I don't know." Nate rubbed his head as if he was tired of thinking.

"Well you've been dating forever. Why are you so destined to break it off now? What's changed?"

"Nothing! That's exactly the point. I don't want to go through my whole life, keep dating Blair, get married to her, have kids, then realize I don't love her."

Chuck was silent a moment, thinking of ways to convince this ungrateful bastard. "Look you're my best friend, right?"

"Yeah, sure." Nate agreed, looking at him strangely.

"Blair's my friend too. I've known you both for a long time. And what you guys have is special. You don't just throw it all away for nothing."

"You sound like my parents." He grunted.

"Then maybe you should start listening to what people tell you. 'Cause really, when have I been wrong?" Chuck joked, with a halfhearted smile.

"Shut up, you're always wrong."

"Fine, whatever. But listen to your best friend on this one, alright?"

"Yeah, alright." Nate nodded, but looked unhappy.

Chuck could see he still hadn't fully convinced him. "You going to her birthday party?"

"Whose?" His mind was somewhere else.

"Blair's." He said plainly, he wanted to yell it, scream it in his face. He so desperately wanted to tell him to wake up! Or someone else will come along and realize how amazing she is. But he didn't. Although if Nate didn't start chasing after her again soon, then he sure would. Right now he was just trying to be the same guy he always was, looking out for his best friend.

"Right. Right. Yeah, I'll be there." He still looked as if he was preoccupied. "Well, I better go. See you there." He got up from the couch, still looking like a wreck.

Chuck opened the door for him and shut it behind him.

He wondered if Nate would actually go to Blair's party this time. He had a lot of work to do. He was going to make him love her if it was the last thing he did.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Blair slipped into her black dress and admired herself in the mirror. Her hair was perfect, her dress was perfect; everything tonight was going to be perfect. Nate was coming to her party to get back together with her, which she was ecstatic about, and he had even gotten her that diamond necklace she wanted so badly. She put on a big smile as she looked at her reflection. She hoped tonight Nate would make her birthday even more special, by taking something she had wanted him to take for awhile now. Her virginity.

'Tonight's the night. I can feel it.' She said to herself, while she ran her hands along her dress making sure it was perfection. She had to be perfect.

"B! Are you up there?" Serena called from downstairs.

"Yeah! Coming!" She examined herself one last time, and opted to put on jewelry but decided against it since she was getting the stunning and sparkling necklace.

She hurried down the stairs to Serena, "Ready?" Her blonde best friend asked.

"Always." She chirped and linked her arm through hers then they headed out.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Blair and Serena were having a blast so far. Chatting and dancing. It was all good so far. But Nate hadn't made his appearance yet, and Blair was starting to get discouraged.

"Nate's not here yet…" Serena said to her as they sat at the bar and ate their sushi.

"He's coming. He said he was. And where's your boyfriend anyways? With his new girlfriend?" She changed the subject.

"He's coming." She said confidently, she knew Dan wouldn't do anything with Vanessa. He was a good guy.

"Ugh. There's Chuck. Maybe he knows where Nate is…" Serena grunted as her least favorite person arrived.

"Chuck?" Blair turned around to see him and the elevator doors closing behind him. She jumped out of her seat and hurried over to him. "Chuck!" She hugged him without even realizing what she was doing.

"Um, hey?" he said.

"Hi." She said quietly, cursing herself for hugging him. It was extremely awkward. Why had she hugged him anyways? She pulled away.

"Are we the type of people that hug now?" he laughed a little.

"Uh…no. That was just a thank you for last night." She made up a quick reasonable explanation for why she had jumped on him.

"Oh, right. Anytime. Where's Nate?"

"I was hoping you would know." Blair said sulkily.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon. He told me he was coming."

"Yeah, he'll be here soon. Well you want to hang out with me and Serena? Till he gets here." She knew Serena hated Chuck, but they all used to be friends. Why couldn't they be again?

"That really does sound wonderful, but I think I'll just wander around."

"Oh come on!" She tried to pull him over to where Serena and she had been sitting.

"No, Blair, really. I'll just see you later." He pulled his hand out of hers and walked away.

She trotted back over to Serena. "What was that all about?" She asked.

"What?"

"You hugged him. Gross. I don't think I've ever seen anyone give Chuck Bass a hug." She laughed, trying to think of a time when he had seen him hug anyone. She'd seen him feel up girls many times, but nothing ever close to hugging. That would mean real affection so she knew Chuck would never be capable of giving someone a hug.

"He was just nice to me last night was all." Blair said defensively.

"Okay? I don't even want to know what you guys did." She looked suspicious.

"It's not like that!" She didn't want to tell her anything, since she still didn't want her to know that Nate and she had broken up. And soon it wouldn't matter because they were getting back together. Blair got up and stomped off. And went out to the balcony, she found Chuck resting his arms on the railing and looking out at the city. "So I guess this is later." She interrupted his thoughts.

"What?" She surprised him and he turned around quickly. "Oh yeah."

She laughed a little fake laugh, "I don't think I've seen you look so deep in thought before."

He smiled at her, he had been thinking of what had happened on the balcony and the conversation they had had. Their words were ringing in his ear.

"_Do you…like me?" She asked, sounding disgusted._

_He paused a moment, "Define like." He had said._

And he had told her about how he couldn't sleep or eat and he had a fluttering in his stomach. But she still didn't care about his feelings and she told him to kill those butterflies.

But that never happened now. So he had to forget about it.

"What were you thinking about?" Blair asked, curiously.

"Nothing important." He sauntered over to where she had sat herself down on a bench.

"Right because the only thing important to you is sex."

"A little feisty today are we?"

"I'm feisty everyday." She retorted with a smirk.

He smiled back at her, but her smirk faded as she held her cell phone in her hands waiting for her 'wonderful boyfriend' to call her. She looked really sad sitting there, and it just made Chuck remember that night even more. And how much he wanted her to stop thinking about Nate and start thinking about him. He sat down across from her on the bench.

"Remember when we were all best friends? We did everything together." Blair reminisced about the good ole days.

"Yeah, but you and Serena still hated me. You only put up with me because I was friends with Nate."

"That's not true. We were all friends. We all liked each other. And could hang out with each other…do you ever wish it was like that again?"

"Yeah, maybe. The four of us, we did make a good team."

"The best." Blair smiled looking down at her phone still.

Chuck lost himself a moment in her smile, he gazed at her in awe. But before she could realize, snapped out of it. She stared down at her phone. "Why don't you come back to the party. You shouldn't be out here alone, it's your birthday."

"I'm not alone. I've got you." Her lip lifted up in a half grin.

"Come on, let's go." He ushered her to stand up and get back to the party, he didn't want it to be just him alone with her.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nate's phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled out to check it.

A text message from Chuck read, _where the fuck r u?_

He paced outside, still not knowing whether he should go in or not. He tapped the small box, which was holding his mother's family ring in it, on his hand.

Jenny was just walking up the building when she saw Nate, then turned around and started walking the opposite direction.

"Hey, Jenny!" He called out to her.

"Hi." She turned back around and said meekly.

"You going up?" Nate asked.

"I was…but I don't know anymore. Kind of chickening out. What about you?"

"Same as you." He put the box back in his pocket. He got another text from Chuck, _you're letting a certain lovely lady down on her b-day. _He ignored the message and stuck his phone in his pocket as well, "…Hey, you want to go for a walk?"

Jenny had a grin that spread from ear to ear, "Me? Sure!"

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Blair! Come meet…Vanessa." She said with an un-genuine smile, trying to hide her distaste.

"Oh, right…Vanessa." Blair held out her hand, not hiding her distaste.

Vanessa took her hand and shook it, "You didn't tell me she was so nice." she muttered under her breath.

"And this is Chuck." Blair pulled him forward, introducing him.

Dan gave him a look of disgust. He was his least favorite person in the world at this time. "Hey." Chuck said, trying to sound like himself, but not too big of a jerk. He wanted to change, but people would think he had gone mad if he changed miraculously over night.

"Hello." Vanessa smiled, not remembering Dan mentioning anyone named Chuck. She knew he had talked about Blair's boyfriend. Maybe this was him. "You're Blair's boyfriend?" She asked.

Chuck's eyes widened, he was surprised by her suggestion and didn't know what to say. Neither did Blair, but she kind of giggled. Dan burst out laughing behind Vanessa.

When no one answered, Blair decided to mess with her a little bit, "Yeah, he's my boyfriend." She took his hand and kissed his cheek. "We just care about each other so much, right Chuck?" She smiled a mischievous smile up at him and wrapped her arms around him, putting her body all over him.

Blair's closeness made him nervous but her answered, "Yes." He stroked her cheek, playing along with her game.

"Ugh, you guys are ridiculous." Serena pushed past them, to get to Dan and Vanessa, "As if you guys would ever get together. Blair could never stoop that low." She gave Chuck a glare. "Bye, lovebirds. Come on guys." She pushed Dan and Vanessa away.

As they were walking away they could hear Vanessa asking, "What?"

"Just don't trust anything they say." Dan told her.

"Um, okay? So they're not really dating?" She asked confused.

Blair snickered until they were out of sight.

"Nice work, Waldorf." Chuck complemented her on her trickery.

"Just wanted to show her whose boss…in a fun way." She giggled some more.

"Well I think Serena's a little pissed now."

"Oh whatever, she can't be mad at me for long, it's my birthday." She smirked again.

"Right, so you can do whatever you want."

"Well we both do that on a regular basis don't we?"

"Yeah, I guess we do…"

Blair sighed and sat down on a stool at the bar. "Can I have a drink?" She asked the bartender. He handed her a small shot glass and she gulped it down. Chuck sat down next to her, but before they could talk anymore Kati and Is came and whisked her away to have fun at her party.

He asked for a drink, and started gulping down shots like they were water. What was he doing? He cursed himself. Chatting with her, being friendly, being with her every moment was just going to make this all worse and more painful for him. If he could just stay away…

It was going to be even worse when she got back together with Nate. Seeing them together was going to cause him so much pain. He should just leave town for awhile, sleep with some women, and get back to his old self, the way he used to be.

But that was impossible, he would never be the same again. He just had to deal with not being with Blair, she had no clue how he felt about her. And it was better this way.

He kept telling himself over and over, its better this way. "Just think of someone else for once!" He said out loud, to himself, but Serena had come up behind him with Blair's cake.

"Who you talking to there, Chuck?" She asked him, suspicious.

"Myself, do you have a problem with that?"

"Oh no, of course not. Have all the conversations with yourself that you want. Where's Blair?"

"How should I know?"

"Well you have been hanging out with her a lot tonight. And I guess you guess did last night too?"

"I can hang out with her if I want too. Some of her lovely friends took her away a few minutes ago." he said in a sarcastic cheery voice.

"Aw and left you all alone?" Her voice was a fake sad. She whipped out her phone and texted Is and told her to bring Blair up to the bar because it was time for her cake.

"Believe it or not, Blair is actually my friend and from time to time we hang out."

"Right, okay, sure. But can you not hang out with her so much when I'm around? I don't like seeing so much of you." She had no problem showing her hatred towards him. She wasn't even looking at him, she stood on her tiptoes, looking over the crowd, trying to find Blair. Kati and Is drug the small brunette through the mass amount of people and lead her to her cake.

"Happy birthday, Blair!" Serena squealed and clapped for her to blow out her candles.

Blair stood in front of her big, pink cake, admiring it. "Make a wish!" Serena was too excited. Blair sideways glanced at Chuck, knowing he was the only one who knew what she had wanted for her birthday. She wanted her boyfriend back. Chuck smiled at her, encouraging her to blow out the candles. She smiled back, this birthday had turned out alright so far. So what if Nate hadn't shown up? It wasn't the end of the world.

She leaned in towards the cake, made a wish, and blew out the candles. Everyone clapped for her, then went back to partying.

"You want some cake?" Serena asked her.

"…A small piece." Still self-conscious about her figure.

Serena gave her a piece, then handed some to Dan for him and Vanessa. "Happy birthday." She said again and gave her best friend a hug.

"Thanks."

Serena walked off with Dan and Vanessa as she took a bite of her cake. People began helping themselves to the rest of it.

"So what did you wish for?" Chuck asked, leaning against the bar.

"That, that Vanessa girl would fall off a cliff." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Seriously?"

"No! I can't tell you what I wished or it won't come true."

"Right. Well did it have to do with Nate?"

The smile left her face, and she pursed her lips, "It's really none of your business." she suddenly turned cold and left him by himself at the bar.

Only about five minutes later, she got a text from Gossip Girl, or rather everyone got a text from Gossip Girl.

A picture of Nate hugging some blonde girl.

She felt like her heart crashed to the ground. Why was he with another girl?! He was supposed to be with her at her party! It was her birthday! What kind of person would do that?!

Chuck flipped his phone open and looked at the picture. He nodded his head, "Well, that didn't change anything." He looked around at everyone looking at their phones and whispering to each other.

"What is this about?" Serena held up her phone to Chuck.

"What?" He asked confused.

"Well, he is your best friend."

"I don't know anything." He told her, offended that she would even suggest that he did.

"Where is she?" She searched for her best friend again.

Chuck got up and followed her, "I really wish you would stop asking me that."

They found Blair standing in the crowd staring at her phone with teary eyes. "Oh, B, I'm so sorry." Serena stepped closer to her.

Kati and Is jumped in, "I hope the slut gave him herpes." "Yeah, a cheater totally deserves herpes."

"He's not cheating." She said in a weak, embarrassed voice. "But he was going to get back together with me! I don't understand!" She ran off towards one of the hallways and Serena chased after her.

But the blonde came back shortly, she walked slowly back over to the small group. Chuck turned towards her with a concerned look. "She just wants to be alone." Serena told him. He felt like this was all eerily familiar.

He waited fifteen minutes before he entered the room where she was sulking. "Go away, Chuck!"

"Hey, I was just going to give you your present then leave. Okay?" he approached her.

"What do you mean leave? Leave my party?" She sat up on the bed and looked at him with her puffy, red eyes.

He hated seeing her sad, but for once in a long time, he wasn't the one that had made her sad. "Yeah, I mean I came here for you. I don't care for these other people so much, so I was just going to take off. But I didn't want to leave before giving you your present."

She sighed, "Okay, what is it?" He pulled out the box out from behind his back and opened it for her so she could see the brilliant, diamond studded necklace. Her eyes grew huge and her mouth dropped open, and she was about to reach out and grab it from the box, but she restrained herself. "Chuck, this is so lovely."

"Well, I just knew how much you wanted-"

She interrupted him mid-sentence, "Why are you being so nice to me lately?" The way she asked the question made it sound like an interrogation.

"What? I can't be nice to you?" He asked, getting angry at her.

"No." She answered simply.

He let out a sigh, "Fine. I'll leave you alone. But since it was one of my best friend's birthdays, I thought I should get her something nice." He ranted on as he moved towards the door. "But I forgot that she's a spoiled, narcissistic-"

"Wait," She interrupted again, and he turned around to look at her, "Don't go. Please." She had a pouting face that he couldn't say no to.

"Fine." He sauntered back over to her and sat down on the bed. There was an awkward silence before he said something, "Why can't I be nice to you, Blair?"

"Because, I don't want you to pity me."

"I'm not pitying you." He shook his head.

"Yes you are! You're not nice to anybody! Except Nate. So why would you be nice to me?"

"Because Nate's an asshole, and you're my friend, too!" He snapped right back at her.

She didn't meet his eyes, she just ran her fingers along the necklace that was sitting in the open box on the bed. "Do you want me to put it on you?" Chuck offered. Blair nodded her head slowly.

He picked the necklace up and clasped it behind her neck. "Thanks." she said quietly.

She lay down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling, feeling he necklace with her fingertips. Chuck laid down next to her, and just relished being close to her again.

"Remember when I made you guys watch all my favorite movies on my birthday?" She giggled.

"Of course, how could I forget. I only saw those movies about a thousand times."

"The same ones over and over again." She laughed out loud, "Usually I would just make you guys watch one, but on my birthday…"

"We had to watch every single one." He ended her sentence.

"And we had to be hasty. We had limited time to watch them before you guys had to go home." she told him in a sarcastically serious voice.

"Oh, how I always wished that time would come sooner."

She punched him in the arm, but he just laughed.

Their laughing lessened, they both let out sighs and looked at each other. Blair stared at him with his head on the pillow. She noticed how flawless his face was and how his hair was nicely trimmed. Had he always been this handsome? His lips, she noticed how perfect his lips were, opened to say something. She looked into his brown eyes, waiting for him to say something. "I'm sorry your birthday wasn't as perfect as you wanted it to be." Her mouth opened to reply, but she lost herself in the sexiness of his voice.

She snapped herself out of her trance when she realized what she was doing. She couldn't like Chuck. She _didn't _like Chuck. He was Chuck Bass after all. And Nate's best friend. She was sure it was just looking at him from this angle was making him look more handsome and was just making her notice his features more. Yeah, that had to be it.

"Well, it wasn't completely ruined. I won't let Nate drag down my whole night." She finally replied.

"I really am sorry about him."

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

"Maybe it is…maybe some of me finally rubbed off on him." He said with a partial laugh, but Blair could tell he was really serious.

"Don't say that. You're not all bad."

"How would you know?"

"Well you really helped me out last night, you came to my party, and you gave me this amazing necklace. I didn't even get a 'happy birthday!' from Nate."

He turned and smiled at her, 'Wow, he has a great smile,' Blair thought to herself. Not long after that, the door opened slowly and Serena stood in the doorway. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm much better now." She said in a cheerful voice and smiled at Chuck.

"What are you guys doin?" She asked suspiciously without trying to sound suspicious, but it didn't really work.

"Talking." Blair sat up on the bed, "Like my new necklace?" She flaunted the beautiful jewelry clasped around her neck.

"Wow. It's gorgeous, B. Did…Chuck give it to you?"

"Yes." She grinned from ear to ear, "I thought Nate had gotten it for me, and I was so disappointed when he didn't come. But I still got the necklace!"

Serena smiled at her, then looked at Chuck with a less than cheerful expression. "That's great. Listen, are you ready to go? I think this party has kind of died down."

"Yeah, let's go." She stood from the bed. Chuck followed her and Serena out of the room. She turned around and faced him, "Thank you, Chuck." She smiled and hugged him.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back.

He smells nice too, she thought.

"Okay, come on, Blair! Let's go!" Serena yanked Blair away from her and dragged her over to the elevator. The smiling brunette waved goodbye to him, and her best friend elbowed her in the arm. "God, stop acting like that." She said once the doors had closed.

"Like what?" She asked confused.

"Like…ugh never mind." Serena didn't want to upset her friend by saying she was acting like she had a thing for Chuck Bass. She knew that was impossible and would never happen. Blair was probably just upset about Nate and was happy someone was being nice to her.

While Serena was think Blair couldn't like Chuck, she was thinking the same thing. She started fighting with herself in her head, 'He's the most repulsive guy ever!'

'But he was very nice today. And yesterday.'

'So what? He's my friend.'

'A friend that you realized that you like.'

'No, that's impossible. If I actually _liked_ Chuck Bass that would mean the world was ending. And I don't see an imminent death approaching so therefore I _do not like _Chuck Bass.'

'Anything is possible.'

'The only thing that is truly impossible is _me _liking _Chuck Bass._'

"Will you please talk about something? Take my mind off it." She ordered harshly at Serena.

"Take your mind off Nate?" She asked with a frown.

"Yes." She lied.

"Okay, well, uh, Vanessa and I are getting along alright now. And I think Dan is pretty happy about it…"

Blair was listening at first, but then her voice became background noise as she remembered Chuck's smoldering voice. The deep and almost raspy sound of it could make any girl swoon.

'You like Chuck Bass.' Her conscience taunted her.

'I know. And that's going to be a problem.'

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Next chapter, thanksgiving. And Chuck will be in it this time! I remember being so mad that he wasn't in the thanksgiving episode in season 1. Anyways, hope you liked it! Review, review, review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm surprised at how fast I wrote this chapter. But I was highly motivated because of all the wonderful reviews! So I slaved over my computer for HOURS. Hope you like it.**

**________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

Chuck sat in the courtyard at school, staring at a blank piece of paper, trying to muster up some words in his head. He tapped his pencil against his head. He had to get this paper done! And soon! It was due tomorrow.

It sucked actually caring about school now. He wanted to be a different person, which meant getting good grades.

Blair had just entered the courtyard, but stopped as soon as she saw him. She watched him a moment until she saw he was getting frustrated and wandered over to him.

"Hey." She sat beside him. "What are you doing?"

"Writing a paper for English. And if you can't tell, it's not going to well." He motioned to the blank paper in front of him.

"What do you have to write about?" She asked. She tried not to sound too interested, even though she was. She didn't want to be interested in what was going on with him, and she really shouldn't be…but she was. 'Why? Why do I care what he has to say? It's crazy to think that I like him.' She said in her head.

"It has to be something 'emotional'," He made air quotes, "And I'm not fucking smart enough for this!" He slammed his notebook shut and threw it on the table.

Blair was startled by his sudden outburst, "Well, you're not dumb that's for sure."

"Oh yeah?" He asked not believing her.

"Yes…" She said with her Blair smile. The mischievous one. "You are the only person I know that is actually smarter than I am."

Chuck laughed a few times. She sure knew how to flatter herself. "Too bad my genius brain isn't too good about putting words on paper."

"You just need to find something to write about. Something that you're passionate about."

He looked at her a moment, "Well, what the hell is that? Sex? Money?"

"I know you're passionate about more stuff that just that." Well she hoped anyways.

"Whatever." He muttered.

Nate came through one of the arches into the courtyard, but as soon as he saw Blair talking to Chuck he started backing away. But not soon enough for Chuck not see him. He gave him a glare, and Nate knew he was in trouble.

"We could go for a walk in the park…it might clear your mind." What the hell? A walk in the park? What the fuck was she doing? Blair knew she should not have let that slip through her lips.

"Sorry, Blair. Maybe another time." He brushed her off, barely acknowledging her. She wasn't even sure he had heard what she'd said. He stood up from the table and shoved his notebook in his bag.

"Oh right, yeah. It was stupid of me to suggest it. You're probably busy." She sputtered out.

"Right." He hurried off to catch up to Nate.

She sat at the table alone, cursing herself for being such a bumbling idiot. Asking him to go on a walk in the park? How insane had she gone?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chuck caught up to Nate walking in the hall and pushed him into the wall and held him there.

"I would say 'Ow', but that was kind of a weak push." Nate joked.

"Why weren't you at her party? And what were you doing with some blonde whore?" He got close to his face.

"Well first of all, I didn't go because we broke up. And I've made the decision not to get back together with her. Second, she wasn't a whore. It was Jenny Humphrey-"

"Jenny Humphrey?" Chuck interrupted.

"Yes! And we're just friends! Now get off me!" He pushed him away so he wasn't pinned against the wall.

"Do you know how upset she was? Everybody at the party saw the picture of you and Jenny. You embarrassed her in front of everyone!"

"Since when do you care so much?"

"Since you started messing everything up!"

"You're supposed to be my friend not my father."

"I'm just warning you, Nathaniel. One day you're going to realize that girl you've been with since kindergarten is everything you want, but it'll be too late cause she'll have already found someone else." Chuck left him standing there to think about it. He knew he would realize that Blair was great, it just may take time.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Blair was still thinking about what a complete fool she had made of herself when Serena interrupted her thoughts. "B, what are you doing sitting here all by yourself. Where's your little clique?" She looked around, knowing they were never far away.

'Oh yeah, well, I just asked Chuck to take a walk in the park with me, but he pretty much ignored me and ran off.' The conversation ran through her head, and she imagined the look Serena would giver her. "Just thinking…of how I could get Nate back." She gazed at her friend with sulky eyes and a pouting lip. There was no way she was going to tell her the real reason she was sitting here by herself.

"Aw, I'm sorry." She leaned her head against Blair's. "He's gonna realize how stupid he's been and come groveling to you to take him back." She tried to cheer her up, "It will be so pathetic and heart wrenching that you'll beg him to stop, I promise." She laughed.

It did get Blair laughing and put her in a better mood, until the bell rang and it was time to go to class.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

At lunch, Blair was surrounded by all her friends. Serena had even ditched Dan that day to hang out with her. But they were all going out of their way not to mention her birthday party. It was getting annoying and she had started ignoring them. All their conversations were boring and pointless.

She hadn't taken more than one bite of her yogurt, she wasn't hungry. She drummed her phone against her leg, which made her look nervous and anxious.

"B? You okay?" Serena asked.

Blair was startled, but she nodded, "Yeah, fine." She put on a fake smile.

Serena knew it was best to just let her be. All she wanted was Nate back, she knew she would be better soon.

"So, there's this like really hot guy, that's like a friend of my brother's," Kati started saying, but they were just useless words in Blair's mind. "And he would be like perfect for you, Blair. You want me to set you up?"

"No, thank you." She said plainly, not bothering to look up at her. She scrolled through her contacts list in her phone and ran across Chuck's name. He hung out with Nate at lunch. She was pretty sure they smoked weed everyday…but it wouldn't hurt to text him…

Hey, hows the paper coming?

-B

It didn't take him long at all to reply, and she tried to refrain from smiling when her phone buzzed, but she still smiled.

it fucking sucks

-C

sorry, could i help with anything?

-B

i wish

-C

Well, what was she supposed to say to that? She didn't want to end their conversation, so she would just change the subject.

so, what r u doing 4 thanksgiving?

-B

spending it with my father. i wish i could die now. but what about u? i happen to know its your fav holiday

-C

it is! my dads coming!

-B

awesome how much have u seen him since he left?

-C

i havent seen him at all! so im really excited.

-B

cool. so u w/ the minions right now?

-C

ugh yes. dumb bitches. y?

-B

well someone asked me if i wanted to take a walk in the park w/ them…

-C

Her heart jumped when she read the message.

haha! ur not w/ nate?

-B

no…im actually in the park right now, if u wanted 2 join me.

-C

b right there.

-B

She got up from the step and threw her yogurt in the nearest trashcan. "So I need to get something back at school…and it might take awhile…so I'll just see you guys after lunch." She started walking off.

"B?" Serena asked, confused.

"Sorry, I've got to hurry. Need it NOW."

She walked at the fastest pace she could, all the way to the park. When she reached it she saw Chuck not far from the entrance, but he was talking to some girl. She didn't look like anyone she knew until she got closer.

"Chuck!" She called out when she was approaching him. He was supposed to be paying attention to her not some other bitch. He turned around and smiled at her, but as he turned she got a better look at the girl. "What's Vanessa doing here?" She asked Chuck as she walked up to them.

"Oh, she was recording something for some video thing." He mumbled the explanation.

"Yeah, I needed some shots of some trees, and this seemed like the perfect-" Vanessa helped with a better story, but was interrupted.

"Right. Well, Chuck and I are taking a walk. So we'll see you later." She tugged on his arm so he would start walking with her.

He laughed at her attempt to pull him away, "You're so weak."

"Am not!" She told him angrily, but couldn't help but giggle.

"Sorry Vanessa. I have to go." He continued laughing and turned his full attention on Blair, "Seriously, you have no muscle."

"Shut up!"

"Right. Okay, bye!" Vanessa turned her camera back on and started filming trees again.

"Uh, why were you talking to her?" Blair wasn't jealous…she just wanted to know. Curiosity was her only motive…yeah right.

"She recognized me from when Dan introduced us and I wasn't going to ignore her or something. That would be rude."

She gasped, "Chuck Bass! I don't know you at all!" She said in a sarcastically, dramatic voice.

He laughed at her joke, but said nothing back. They were walking together in silence. Very awkward.

"So why did you ask me to come here?" Blair tried to start up a conversation.

"I think you were the one who asked me." Chuck said with a mischievous grin. "But, I wanted to tell you I talked to Nate…"

Her heart sank a little bit when she realized he had wanted to see her to talk about Nate. Of course she still did want to get back together with him, she loved him after all. But being with Chuck made her want to act like Nate was nonexistent. "Ugh, let's not talk about him." She suggested.

"You don't want to talk about him? Well, I just figured…"

He had no idea she had a growing crush on him. She found his oblivion cute. "What are you doing with your dad on thanksgiving?" she changed the subject.

"Uh, sitting there in total silence while we eat a meal completely prepared by some gourmet chef."

"You don't like your dad?" She never knew much about Chuck's home life so she was budding with curiosity and concern.

"No, he doesn't like me." He felt like opening up to Blair. If he couldn't have her as his lover, he wanted to be her friend. And telling her things about him would make her trust him more.

"What?" Blair was feeling sorry for him, and she rarely felt sorry for anyone. How could a father not like his own son?

"It's a pretty serious talk for a walk in the park…"

"If you don't want to tell me about it that's fine." She was jumpy from nervousness.

"No, I do…just not now."

"That's okay. We can just talk about something else." They kept walking through the park. Blair gazed up at the trees, the multi-colored leaves were everywhere. "Remember when we used to do this when we were kids? I loved it during autumn."

"All I remember is Nate pushing Serena in a pile of leaves, and you went off and pouted cause he wasn't paying attention to you." He poked fun at her.

"Well I had good reason too. I don't like it when people ignore me." She pretended to pout.

"I know." He chuckled.

"But you always paid attention to me."

"I was always too scared not to!"

"That was the only reason?" She sounded disappointed.

"I always thought you were better than Serena, if that counts as a reason to pay attention to you."

Blair didn't think she had ever heard someone say that. She was better than Serena? She felt like kissing him. What? No! Not kissing him…just thanking him, graciously. She shook any thoughts of kissing from her mind, and they were long gone.

All she could do was smile at him, until she shivered. It was starting to get cold this time of year, but still not cold enough to wear a big coat.

"Are you cold?"

"A little." she answered.

"Here, take my scarf." He wrapped it around her neck gently.

"Thanks." She did everything in her power not to blush, but she still felt her cheeks heating up. His scarf was so close to her nose she couldn't stop herself from taking a deep breath of his scent. Which was the most tantalizing scent known to man. It was even better than the way Nate smelled. Why hadn't she noticed this amazing smell before? And something else she kept wondering about was if his scent was so good…what did he taste like?

She watched as his lips separated then pursed back together, then separated then pursed back together again.

She shook her head. No thoughts of Chuck's lips! It was disgusting for her to even look at them longer than she should, much less dream about them. He was Nate's best friend and her friend of many years. She _couldn't _like him. What was likeable about him, anyways?

"Do you think we should get back to school soon?" He checked the time on his watch.

"Since when have you cared when you have to get back to school?" Blair didn't want to go back to school, she wanted to keep walking.

"I don't. But you do." Chuck pointed out to her.

Yes, unfortunately she did care when they got back to school. But this was way better than school. She looked down at her shoes and Chuck knew she didn't want to leave the park, but she really felt like she needed to get back to school. "Come on." He turned her around and they started walking back the way they came. If he hadn't directed her to turn around she would've kept going. And it would've ruined her perfect attendance record, which was important to her.

Blair didn't know what to say anymore, so they were walking in complete silence. You could hear their shoes hit the pavement and step on the leaves. She would look over and him once in awhile. He seemed to be thinking about something. If she was a complete idiot she would ask him what he was thinking, but she wasn't that stupid. "What are you thinking?" Okay, maybe not.

"Just…you and Nate. I talked to him and-"

"Can we do this again sometime?" She cut him off.

"Do what?" He looked confused, as to why she didn't want to talk about Nate and what she meant by the question.

"Go for a walk in the park." She said with a big smile and started swinging her body around. Chuck had to admit to himself that it was cute, he never really saw her like this.

"Sure. We can do it anytime you want."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Why have you been so different…so nice since the night Nate and I broke up? I kind of miss schemy Chuck Bass."

"I'm still the same person, Blair. I've just realized a few things."

"What?"

"That if I don't want to be totally alone for the rest of my life, then I should be a nicer person."

"But you're not a nice person. You're not the kind of person who chats with a girl from Brooklyn in the park."

"Only girls from Manhattan?" He smirked, meaning her.

Damn, now he probably thought she was jealous. She _sounded _jealous. Was she jealous? No, impossible. Blair Waldorf does not envy other people, people envy her.

"Blair, I'm still me. I'm still the male version of you." He chuckled.

"Never thought of it that way." She smirked. They did have a lot in common.

There was only small talk as they made their way back to school. It was perfect timing, five minutes before the first bell rang. He followed her to her locker, and even walked her to her class. Was it just her or was he way better at acting like a boyfriend than Nate was?

"Thanks, Chuck." She thanked him in a whispery voice and smiled coyly.

He replied by saying, "My pleasure." Like a true gentleman, which made her blush a little. "I'll talk to you later, okay? I've got to go to class."

"Yeah, of course." She said and he began to walk away. Even when he was a fair distance away she yelled something to him, "And don't talk to any Brooklyn girls!"

"Don't worry, I only like the Manhattan ones!" He called back to her without turning around.

She wasn't sure why but what he said made her smile even bigger, did that mean he liked her? Or was he just saying that in general? Meaning all girls from Manhattan? She was sure he'd already had sex with all of them. Ew, she could never like such a womanizer. They can't be trusted.

"Blair! Was that just you with Chuck?" Serena came up behind her and made her jump.

"Yeah? So?" She replied snottily.

"B, he's the biggest jackass we know." Serena told her, it sounded like pity in her voice. She was pitying her because she was hanging out with Chuck?

"Maybe to you, but not to me." Blair said, almost cockily.

"Are you bragging that Chuck is nice to you and not me?" She seemed really confused.

"God, no!" Which was probably a lie. She pushed past Serena and entered the classroom. She sat in her seat, and acted like she was to busy to talk about such things.

Serena's seat was behind hers, so she had a feeling she was going to be bugged a lot this period. Only seconds later, the blonde tapped her shoulder.

"Serena, I'm busy okay?"

But she ignored her, "What. Are. You. Wearing?" She separated the words which made it sound like she had to be wearing something horrific.

"I'm wearing that new-" She looked down at her blouse, which really wasn't all that extravagant so she didn't know why Serena was freaking out. But then she realized what else she was wearing and almost died from embarrassment. Chuck's scarf! How could she forget she was wearing it? She knew people would get the wrong idea, so she tore it off her neck immediately and stuck it in her bag.

"Want to explain that to me?" Serena asked, lifting up an eyebrow at her.

"He gave it to me because it was chilly."

"But you only saw him now, outside the classroom right?" Blair was silent, so Serena took that as an admission of being guilty of something. "Blair! You didn't come back to school, you went and met Chuck! Why?"

"God, Serena it's not like I'm sleeping with the guy or something. I was with him because he's helping me get Nate back." It was a complete lie, since she wouldn't even let Chuck speak of Nate. But it was better than Serena knowing that she just wanted to hang out with him.

She sighed, "Sorry for jumping to conclusions." She felt bad because it had something to do with Nate and she thought Blair was still really upset about it.

"Apology accepted." She could never tell Serena she liked Chuck. She would never understand.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chuck sat down at the bar in his suite after a long day at school. He had to finish this damn English paper! Blair told him to think of something he was passionate about.

The walk in the park with her today was…fun. He liked being with her. Even if that meant he could never truly _be_ with her. She needed a friend, and that's what he wanted to be for her.

Words starting coming to him quickly when he started thinking of her. He scribbled anything he thought down on the paper. It may be a totally crap paper, but at least he would have something to turn in.

His phone started ringing as he was in mid-thought, he finished writing it down and answered the phone. It was Blair.

"Hey, Chuck…I called because I may still have your scarf."

"Oh, right."

"And now some people may think we're dating." She joked.

"Well, you just like to tell everyone I'm your boyfriend, don't you?" Talking about the lie she had told Vanessa at her birthday party.

"I didn't tell anyone! They just may have jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"I'm sure you set them straight though, right?" He couldn't imagine her taking crap like that from anyone.

"Oh, yeah, don't fret. You're still a free man."

He chuckled, "Well, thanks for telling me. You can just give it to me tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay…bye." She kind of wanted to keep the conversation going, but he sounded busy.

He hung up and continued writing, he had plenty of motivation to finish this now.

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Blair was so happy about today. Her dad was coming! It was going to be perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

She was sitting at the counter with Serena, as she flipped through the recipes looking for her dad's famous pumpkin pie recipe.

These days also used to be spent with Nate, but since Blair's mom was no longer so fond of his father and Nate and Blair had broken up, there was no reason for them to come. This train of thought got her thinking about Chuck. Why did he never spend holidays with them like Serena and Nate did all those years? He was simply always absent. Which didn't make sense since it was apparent that he didn't enjoy having holidays with his father.

"Do you know what Chuck does on thanksgiving?" Blair asked Serena while she was still looking through the recipes. She asked her in a way that made it sound like a stray thought and not like something that she had been thinking about for awhile.

"How would I know. I could literally not care less about that soulless pig. And why do you want to know?"

"No reason. Just wondering." Still acting like she wasn't paying much attention.

Serena scoffed at her, "I can't believe this. I seriously can't believe this."

"What?"

"You like him!" She said with so much shock and horror in her voice you might've thought Blair had told her she killed someone.

"No I don't!" Blair defended herself.

But Serena ignored what she said, "You like him! Chuck Bass!? That's so wrong in so many ways. How is this possible?"

While she was going on and on Blair kept yelling at her, "No I don't! No I don't! No I don't!" Until her voice got so loud that everyone in the kitchen stopped what they were doing and gaped at her. "Stop staring at me and get back to work!" she ordered.

"Blair, why?" Serena really wanted to know how it was possible.

"Because he's nice to me! And maybe I want to like someone who actually likes me more than Serena Van der Woodsen!"

"Oh, so this is because of me? You like him because he doesn't like me?" She said it like it was the most stupid idea.

"No it's not because of you! This has nothing to do with you!" She was tired of everything being all about Serena.

"Do you really think he likes you? That's he _cares_ about you? Because he doesn't. And he never will."

"You don't know that." Blair told her in a serious voice, but was hurt by her words.

"Yes I do. Everyone should know that. You're a complete idiot if you don't. All he would do is have sex with you and then throw you away, like he does every other girl. You're not special to him." Serena thought Blair should get this through her head as soon as possible, to save her from getting hurt.

"He doesn't treat me like all the other girls."

"Blair! All he's thinking of when he's with you is how great you're going to be in bed, he's not actually listening to anything you say!"

"You're just jealous!

"Jealous of what?!"

"He likes me more than you! And always has!"

"Oh, yes, because I'm just dying for Chuck to like me. I can't sleep at night, I love him so much." She said sarcastically. Then in a serious tone, "I'm not jealous of you, Blair. And I don't know why anyone else is."

"What's going on in here?" Eleanor came into the kitchen after hearing all the shouting.

"Nothing." Blair told her quickly.

"Okay, when is your mother coming over, Serena?"

"She's not." Blair said before Serena had a chance too.

"What? Why not?" Eleanor was confused, she was completely oblivious to the girl's big fight only moments before.

"Because they're not invited anymore." Blair said sternly, talking more to Serena and less to her mother.

"What?" Eleanor was still out of the loop.

"I think it's time for me to go, Eleanor." Serena said, still looking at Blair.

She left quickly without Blair or Eleanor trying to stop her, she was still a little clueless.

"What did you do?" Eleanor asked her as if it was all her fault.

"I didn't do anything! She was the one offending _me_, Mother!"

"Offending you? Really?" She sounded very skeptical, "Serena wouldn't do that to you, you're her best friend.

"Well she did! Maybe you could be on my side for once." She sighed, she wanted to forget about this whole mess. It was thanksgiving. Her favorite holiday. She wanted to be happy. "When's Daddy coming?" Blair asked cheerfully.

"What? He didn't tell you? He's not coming…"

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Chuck walked into his dad's suite, where they would be having thanksgiving dinner. His father told him to come early because he had to work and didn't have a lot of time.

Chuck was really nervous to see his dad since he hadn't seen him since well…since he died.

He walked into the dining area, and his father was already sitting at the table. "Father?"

"Charles, have a seat." He said without even looking up from whatever papers he was looking at.

Chuck's heart was beating furiously. His heart couldn't be beating faster, even if Blair was naked and on top of him. It was literally impossible.

He wanted to find some words to say to get a conversation started. He had wanted another chance to make his father proud of him, and here it was. "I'm surprised you even wanted me to come after the huge mess I made with you and Lily." He wanted him to know he was sorry.

"Well this holiday is about family. And you're my son, right?" Bart's voice was as cold and affectionless as he remembered. But he had missed it.

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Blair was crouched on her knees over the toilet, puking her guts out. Forcing the whole pie she had eaten to come back up by shoving her finger down her throat. This was something she had become quiet good at last year. Whenever she was in this position, she was in control.

She leaned against the wall beside the toilet. Tears came running down her cheeks. How could her mother do this? Tell her own father she didn't want to see him today? And then invite a whole bunch of people she didn't even know to their family dinner! And she got rid of her father's pie! This day had turned out nothing like how she had planned it.

Once she felt she had gotten hold of herself enough, she picked up her cell phone. She thought about dialing Serena's number, but she was still mad her. Who she really felt like calling was Chuck, but she shouldn't do that. Pouring her feelings out to him and tell him that she made herself throw up, what would he think? It would be unfair to him if she called.

But then Blair started thinking about how good he had made her feel over the past couple of weeks. He always made her feel better.

Before she even fully made up her mind if this was a good decision or not, she called him.

It rang only twice before he picked up, "What?!" He barked into the phone.

She was caught off guard by his harshness and was at a loss of words, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you." She was getting ready to hang up.

"Blair?" He asked as if he didn't know it was her. "Is that you?"

"Yes." She answered, more tears coming down her face now.

"I'm sorry, I didn't look at who was calling before I picked up." He heard sniffles and whimpers. "Blair, are you crying?" But she didn't answer, she was trying to get a hold of herself again. "I'm sorry, Blair, I didn't mean to yell at you." Chuck figured that's why she was upset.

"No, it's not that. Well it is, but it's not." She tried hard to make sure everything she said was audible.

"What's wrong?" Chuck asked really concerned.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you."

"Blair? What's wrong? Blair!" But she had hung up the phone instead of answering him.

She sat there a minute, crying even harder than she had before. She leaned over the toilet again and stuck her finger in her mouth, trying to force herself to cough up more from her stomach. But there was nothing left, so she started coughing up her stomach acids. She started feeling sick and woozy, she laid her head against the wall again.

She heard her door burst open. God, couldn't people leave her alone?

"Blair!" Chuck's voice sounded from her bedroom.

What? What was he doing here? It had only been 15 minutes since she called him.

"Blair!" He opened the door to the bathroom and saw her sitting on the floor. Her face was flushed of all its color. "Blair, what happened?" He crouched down in front of her and held her face in his hands and examined with his eyes to make sure she wasn't hurt.

She shook her head and started crying again. She wrapped her arms around Chuck's neck and set her chin on his shoulder. He took her in his arms and buried his face in her curly locks of hair.

When her crying didn't let up, he wanted to get her out of the bathroom. So he picked her up and carried her out. He set her down on her bed gently, but she was reluctant to let go of his neck. "Blair, just let go for a second. I'm just going to get the tissues in there." He pointed to a box of tissues in the bathroom. She let go and Chuck retrieved the tissues quickly.

He took of his suit jacket so he was more comfortable, laid down next to her on the bed and handed her a tissue. Instead of taking it, she clung to him again. "Blair," he whispered in her ear, "please, tell me what happened."

"My mother…she told my dad I was mad at him and I didn't want to see him today. And she invited all these people to dinner and got caterers…" He listened while stroking her hair, he had no idea this had happened on thanksgiving. It made him feel horrible that she never told him. "And so I was upset, and I ate a whole pie." She started crying harder, "And I just didn't know what to do, I didn't do it on purpose I swear." She grabbed onto his face and told him, frantically. He searched her eyes for some answer as to what she was talking about.

Then he figured it out. She had eaten a whole pie, he found her in the bathroom…"God damn it." He said quietly but angrily.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She shrieked and hugged him tighter.

"No, no. It's not you. I'm not mad at you." He comforted her, it pained him how much she was hurting. He wasn't angry at her.

"Then why are you swearing at me?" She sounded like a child who didn't understand why they were being scolded.

"I'm angry at other people. Not you."

"Who are you angry at?" She sniffled and wiped her cheek.

"Your mother…and myself." He handed her a tissue.

"What? This isn't your fault."

"I just should've known, and then I yelled at you on the phone…" Chuck told her, guiltily. He felt horrible. If he had known this had happened on thanksgiving, he could've stopped it.

"It's not your fault." She touched his cheek, intimately. His skin felt nice on her hand.

She snuggled into him for a little while longer until he said, "I think you should eat. You need something in your stomach. Want me to go down and get you something?" He stood up from the bed and Blair pouted.

"…I guess."

"Okay. I'll be right back." He hurried out of her bedroom and downstairs.

Before entering the kitchen, he pulled out his phone and called Serena.

"Chuck? Are you high or something? Why are you calling me?" She asked, truly not happy.

"Listen here, er…" He stopped himself from saying 'sis'. He had become so accustomed to saying it, it was a habit. "I'm calling because of Blair. She decided she didn't want to keep her food in her stomach today."

"What? Is she okay? I'm coming right now."

"No, you don't need too. Blair called me and not you, so I get the feeling she doesn't want you here. I've got everything under control. But I just thought you needed to know since you're her best friend."

"She called _you_? Are you with her?"

"Yes, I'm just getting her something to eat now."

Wow, she was surprised at how caring he was being. But she was still pissed that Blair had called him and not her. She was her best friend! And she knew way more about all this than he did. "Okay, well, thanks for calling me I guess."

"Yeah, sure. I'll let you get back to what you were doing…"

"Right. Bye." Serena hung up the phone and went back to the table, where her family and the Humphrey's were having an awkward dinner. She wasn't listening to their conversation though, she was thinking of how weird Chuck was acting lately.

Chuck went into the kitchen, "Excuse me," He said to Dorota, "could you fix a plate of food for Ms. Waldorf?"

"Oh, yes, of course. Is she alright?" The maid was concerned.

"She'll be fine." He didn't want to tell anyone much about what happened because he felt like it wasn't his business to tell.

Dorota prepared a plate with a heaping amount of food, plus a glass of water.

"Here you go." Chuck handed the plate to Blair and set the water glass on the side table.

"Thanks, Chuck." She started taking dainty bites of food. "I'm sorry if I ruined your thanksgiving."

"What? No. If you didn't notice by the way I greeted you on the phone, it was already ruined."

"Oh…I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Let's just stop with all this apologizing."

She smiled and kept eating.

"You want to watch a movie?" He suggested.

"What?" She asked in total shock, but couldn't help grinning ear to ear. "A movie?"

"Yeah…I thought it would cheer you up."

"Yes!" She clapped her hands and was all giddy.

"Okay," He smiled at how happy she was, "Which one?"

"Do you even have to ask?" She was bouncing up and down, she was so excited. This just proved her point even more that Chuck was nice.

"Breakfast at Tiffanies?"

"Always."

He picked it out of the rest of the movies and put it in her DVD player, then joined her on the bed again.

She had eaten quite a fair portion of the food, so she set it aside and snuggled into her pillows to get comfortable.

Only 30 minutes into the movie, Chuck had fallen asleep and his head was rested on her shoulder while his arm was wrapped around her, and his hand was grabbing her waist.

She wasn't mad that he had fallen asleep, she knew he hated this movie. And being held by him was quite enjoyable anyways. She even played with his hair every once in awhile. It was hard not to. It was just so soft looking.

Blair was practically mouthing all the lines as the characters said them. She'd seen this movie countless times, but still loved it.

Just as it was getting to her favorite part, her phone rang. She looked at the caller id. Serena. She debated picking it up or not. Finally she decided to go with answering. Maybe she wanted to apologize to what she had said to her this morning.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Serena said, almost sadly. "Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine."

"Chuck…called me and told me."

"Ugh. The little bitch!" she felt like smacking him on the head while he was sleeping, but he looked so peaceful and cute that she couldn't.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Serena asked, all she wanted was for Blair to be alright.

"Yes. I'm okay. I just ate a whole plate of food, and don't feel like throwing it back up. And I plan on calling the doctor tomorrow, just in case."

"I'm glad to hear you're alright…so is he still there?"

"Yeah, he's, uh, sleeping." She laughed at him. "We were watching Breakfast at Tiffanies, and he fell asleep." she explained to her friend.

"Wow, watching your favorite movie. That's pretty nice."

"We're just friends, Serena."

"Right, sorry." She didn't want to start a fight again.

"I'll call you later, okay? I think sleeping beauty here is drooling on my shoulder."

Serena chuckled, "Yeah, okay. Bye." She hung up and let Blair get back to whatever she was doing.

Blair tapped Chuck on the shoulder, and he groggily opened his eyes, "What?"

"You fell asleep." she said softly.

"Oh." He woke up more and sat up, removing his arm from where it was wrapped around her waist. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I know you're not really fond of this movie."

"Well I tried didn't I?" He joked, and looked at his watch. "It's getting late. I should probably go."

"You don't have to…I mean, your dad wouldn't mind would he?" She really wanted him to stay longer.

"No, since I don't even live with him. But your mother will probably want me to leave."

"Oh, who cares about her?"

"I'm just saying. And you probably want to make up with her."

"No, I don't."

"Blair…"

"Ugh, fine! But you owe me…since you told Serena!" She poked him hard in the shoulder.

"Oohhh," He suddenly felt guilty, "how'd you find out?"

"She called me while you were sleeping." She explained, but still looked pissed at him.

"I didn't know why you didn't call _her,_ and I felt like she should know."

"I got in a fight with her this morning. But thank you for caring enough to tell her."

"You're welcome…what were you guys fighting about?" He asked as he put his jacket back on.

Well, there was no way she was telling him the truth, "Oh, nothing…just stupid stuff." She certainly did not think what they had been fighting about was stupid. She was still somewhat mad at Serena for saying what she did about Chuck.

"Okay then." Getting the hint that she didn't want to tell him about it. "Well, I'll get going." He started heading out her bedroom door and she followed.

"Thank you again…for coming and stuff." She said shyly, as the walked down the stairs.

"Anytime."

Once they reached the elevator she hugged him tightly. She didn't want to let him go. He had been so kind today. Coming to her rescue and whatnot.

Chuck hugged her back then whispered in her ear, "Now go make up Eleanor."

She smiled reluctantly, let go of him, and watched him enter the elevator. The doors closed behind him and she sulkily went to go make up with Eleanor.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**I hope you liked it. It didn't make a lot of progress on the Chuck and Blair front, but I wanted some thanksgiving comforting! Next chapter will be the cotillion ball. How sad was that episode? Cocky Nate freaking winking at Chuck. Ugh. But, please review! Tell me what you thought about sweet and nice Chuck, and Blair totally falling for him. **


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is a little bit shorter than I thought it was going to be, but be happy I updated it so soon! **

**Again, sorry for any typos, but the people who usually proof read for me are too lazy to read my story!**

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"So tell me again why you are even coming to this thing if you're not going to be in the ball." Blair still didn't understand why Serena had changed her mind so suddenly about the cotillion ball. They had only looked forward to this event since they were five!

"I'm coming because I'm meeting my grandmother here. But I've decided not to be presented because I just don't see the point in it anymore." Serena told Blair as they entered the dance studio which was holding the rehearsal for the ball.

"Right…or a certain boyfriend of yours doesn't like these sorts of things, so you've decided to pretend like you don't either." She came to a different conclusion than the one her friend had told her.

"That's not it, Blair." She saw Dan standing with Jenny over by the windows, "I'll see you later, okay?" She left her to go hang out with her boyfriend.

Blair was offended by her friends sudden departure for only a moment, then she saw Chuck…but he was standing with Nate. She couldn't go over to him with her stupid, lame ass, ex-boyfriend attached to his hip.

She had started realizing lately that maybe Nate wasn't the one for her. She thought of him less and less, and stopped regretting them breaking up. But as she thought about him less, she thought about Chuck more. She knew it was wrong, her ex-boyfriend's best friend. 'It's just because he's been so nice to me lately.' she would tell herself. 'There's no real feelings. It's just transference…since I no longer have Nate, I'm just redirecting feelings onto another person. Yeah, that's a logical explanation.'

As she walked over to her group of friends, she felt someone staring at her. She turned around, thinking it was Chuck. He had been really worried about her lately and was always making sure she was okay. But no, it was Nate. She stared back at him for a moment, thinking about flipping him off, but decided just to ignore him.

Only about ten minutes later, their practice started. They were matched up with their partners and the dancing begun. Blair was always a good dancer, not as breathtaking as Serena, but she could dance. Her date, Prince Theodore, wasn't bad either, but she found herself looking over at Chuck constantly. She had know idea who his date was, probably some desperate girl who had no one else to go with so they matched her up with Chuck. She didn't realize she was giving the girl dirty looks until she looked back at Blair with a face that asked 'what's your problem?'.

Blair was to busy admiring Chuck's beautiful dancing to notice Nate eyeing her again. Of course he was too clueless to notice she was drooling over his best friend.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Hi, Chuck." Blair said cheerfully when she skipped over to him after the rehearsal was over. For once he wasn't with Nate so she took the opportunity to pounce.

"Blair." He greeted with his sexy Chuck smirk that Blair was starting to daydream about. Then he got to the question he asked every time she talked to him now, "Are you doing okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. You really don't have to ask me that every time I see you. I'm fine. I've been fine for awhile."

"I'm sure other people, like Serena, are still checking up on you…" He tried to explain why he always asked her that.

"Nooo, you're the only one."

"Oh." He looked down at the ground and slung his bag over his shoulder.

"It's okay though! I mean it's not that bad. I mean, it doesn't bother me that much." She stumbled over her words. She did sort of like that he was worrying about her so much, it showed that he cared. But she wished they could talk about other stuff sometimes.

"Right, sorry. I just don't know how to handle this whole thing. You never really talked to me about it before." He meant her eating disorder.

"Wellll," She dragged out the word as she swung around in a half circle, flirtatiously, "maybe if you walked me home, I would."

"Sure," He jumped at the chance, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, just let me get my bag!" She ran over to the other side of the room, where she had left her bag. Then she left with Chuck, but they were both unaware that Nate was watching them.

"So," Chuck started after a awkward silence. They walked down the sidewalk, in the direction of Blair's home, as people bustled around them. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry except for them.

"Right…" Blair remembered what they were supposed to be talking about.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me…and just used it as an excuse for me to walk you home." He joked with her to lighten up the mood.

"No, I want to tell you." She said seriously. He stopped with an intent look on his face, and waited for her to continue. "The eating disorder I have is bulimia, but I'm sure you know that since we've learned about all this stuff since junior high." She tried to laugh as if it wasn't a serious subject. "And it got really bad a couple of years ago. I was self conscious and didn't feel pretty enough. I wanted to be perfect…and that's how I felt I could accomplish it."

"Did it have anything to do with Nate or Serena?" Chuck asked, almost accusing them. He knew how much she was insecure about them back then.

"No, it wasn't anybodies fault really. But I got treatment last year, and have been doing pretty well ever since. Only when I feel really stressed or upset, do I feel the need to, you know…", She continued on with her story. "So it's really okay, and you don't have to worry so much. I'm fine."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know if all this meant you were back to doing that or not…" If she was he would surely die inside.

"No, I saw the doctor the day after thanksgiving, just to be on the safe side. An now everything is back to normal."

"I'm sure you understand why I was so worried. I never knew much about all this…you never told me about it." Chuck explained, he had only found out that she had an eating disorder when Serena had told Nate and him one day. He had been so confused and didn't really understand because she had always seemed so fine. Nate didn't know how to handle it either, so he avoided her for a week.

"Yeah, I totally get it. I never told anyone actually, Serena was the one who found out and told my parents."

"Well, I'm glad you're telling me now." He gave her a small smile.

"Me too." She would tell him everything if he wanted to hear it. She would sit down and talk with him forever if that's what he wanted. Nate and her never had much to talk about, plus he was super boring to listen to.

They were nearing her apartment now, so she slowed her pace a tiny bit at a time, trying to make it undetectable to Chuck. "So, who is your date to the ball?" Blair changed the subject. She was budding with curiosity about this blonde-haired whore.

"Uh, Stacy something. I didn't catch her last name." The way he seemed not to care at all who she was made Blair want to jump up and down. But she contained herself.

"Oh…she looked nice." She said in a chipper voice, hiding the real reason she wanted to know about the slutty bitch. It was normal for her to hate someone she knew nothing about, right? She didn't hate her just because she was Chuck's date, right?

"I guess." He muttered.

They were walking closer and closer to Blair's building. She cursed living so close to where the rehearsal was. Why couldn't it have been on the other side of the city? She sighed in disappoint, "Well, here we are."

"I'm glad we talked…I'll see you at the ball."

She wouldn't see him until the ball? And she doubted they would even see a lot of each other there. "Okay." She smiled and started walking backwards towards the door of the building while waving to him. She miscalculated how much she would need to lift her foot up to set it on the step. She tripped over it and her butt hit the sidewalk.

How embarrassing! She sat there, red as a tomato, and Chuck rushed over to help her to her feet. "Nice one." He commented, making fun of her 'graceful' landing.

"Uh, thanks, gotta go! Bye!" She jerked out of the grasp he had on her and darted into the building. She ran for the elevator and tapped her foot waiting for it to come.

Chuck watched her a minute and laughed. If he wasn't on a mission to get her and Nate back together, he would've kissed her already. But that wasn't happening…ever again. His only role in her life now was to be her friend and be there when she needed him. No kissing, or anything relating to intimacy.

After he noticed he was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, staring off into space, he started moving again. Now making his way to his suite at the hotel.

Blair was mortified. Simply and completely humiliated. She never did anything like that! She was always poised and graceful. Like a deer walking through a meadow. Smooth and dignified. Like a fish in a stream.

She snapped out of the admiration of herself. She tripped over a step! Because she was walking backwards! Because she was waving to a guy she shouldn't even like in the first place! Damn that bastard and his smooth talking ways. He practically seduced her…okay, maybe not. Not even close. But this was all his fault! Being sweet and kind. Making her act all cute and flirty.

Blair stomped up the stairs to her room. She was never talking to him again. That was the only way to solve this problem.

"God!" She blew out a gust of air, frustrated.

She set out her gown for the ball on her bed. Looking at it beauty and knowing her mother had made it just for this occasion calmed her. She would be wearing it soon enough, and everything about the night would be perfect. No certain brown-haired, brown-eyed man, who was handsome as god would ruin it…not that he could ruin it. Only make it more perfect.

"Damn it! Stop thinking about him!" She smacked the palm of her hand against her head.

"Miss Blair! Someone here to see you!" Dorota called up from the bottom of the staircase.

What? Could it be Chuck? No. She'd just seen him. He had no reason to come back. But she still got her hopes up as she left her room and started down the stairs. Unfortunately, Nate was standing at the bottom of them.

"Nate, what are you doing here?" Blair asked, sounding surprised, but less than happy.

"Just after rehearsal today…I couldn't stop thinking about you."

She raised her eyebrows in shock. Was he finally seeing he had feelings for her? "And?" She wanted to know if that's all he had to say.

"And I'm sure the prince is a great dancer and all, but I was hoping you would go to the ball with me."

"We broke up, and for a reason. We only thing we should be doing is trying to be friends." Blair was entirely sure if she wanted him back anymore.

"Right, of course…Look, I haven't worn this sweater in like forever and pulled it out today and found this." He lifted up the green sleeve to reveal her gold, heat-shaped pin. He looked up at her with expectant eyes. "I thought you might need it back or something."

"I sewed it there so you would always have my heart on your sleeve." A smile tugged at her lips. "Maybe we should go to the ball together." She gave in. "But only as friends." She did want to be friends with him, but nothing more.

"Just friends." He repeated with a smile.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I don't get why she's acting like this. Like she doesn't care at all." Nate was complaining to Chuck after he had just gotten his suit for the ball fitted.

Chuck was confused as well. Why was she acting like that? This conversation was all to similar to the one they had had the first time around.

"You're still pretty close with her, right?" Nate asked, brewing up a plan.

"Yes." He answered, knowing where this was going.

"You've got to find out if she's seeing anyone!"

Why would he come to that conclusion, Chuck wondered. Had he been texting Blair during Nate's fitting? Shit! He probably had. Well it was no matter, the two of them were still going to the ball together and he wouldn't get in the way to mess everything up this time.

"She's not seeing anyone." He reassured his friend.

"How do you know for sure?"

"Because I know, Nathaniel." He set a hand on Nate's shoulder, telling him to trust him.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Before she knew it, it was the cotillion ball. And Blair was standing amidst the beautiful ballroom, dressed in her grey gown, accented with the diamond necklace Chuck had been do kind to give her for her birthday. They went together perfectly. She hadn't gotten to wear the necklace anywhere yet. But really she would wear casually around the house, even if she were just wearing a nightgown before going to bed. She loved that necklace like nothing else she owned.

She got in line with the rest of the girls who were being presented. And the boys starting falling into place to. Chuck and Nate walked up the staircase together, she looked at Nate. He was handsome in his grey suit that matched her dress. But Chuck was even more good looking in a classic white and black suit. He wore it well.

Tried as she might to get thoughts of her forbidden crush to leave her mind, the picture of Chuck was etched in her brain. It was getting on her nerves, how much she was thinking about him. She had never felt like since she was in grade school! Writing Mrs. Blair Archibald all over her school notebooks. But she had some sense that the way she was feeling for Chuck wasn't just a crush, and it wasn't just going to go away.

Chuck caught sight of the sparkly jewelry piece around Blair's neck. He couldn't figure out why everything was turning out the same. It didn't make sense. He had never had sex with her, therefore they had never started an affair, so why was everything falling into place like this? No schemes to make it appear that Blair was dating Carter Baizen had been played out. So why was Blair acting so indifferent to Nate?

He started thinking about what had happened last time to make Blair fall for Nate again…the only things he could think of that happened at the actual ball were Nate punching Carter, and Blair finding out everything was Chuck's fault, which caused her to go back to Nate. He had no idea how he was going to pull any of that off.

Blair glanced over at Chuck once in awhile, he looked deep in thought, and maybe a touch confused. She wished she could know what he was thinking about. Was it possibly her? Could he be thinking about her?

Her questions were interrupted when the announcer got everyone's attention to start calling off the names of the girls being presented.

Everything went by smoothly, except Serena's presentation statement which had caused a small ruckus. But Blair's name had been called along with Nate's and everyone clapped at what a beautiful couple they were. All she could really think was 'the sooner it's over, the better'.

Then it was time for the dance. The much practiced dance. It really wasn't complicated as long as you remembered the steps, which Blair did. Just start off with your date, a couple twirls, then spin to another guy, a couple twirls, then back to your date, and on with the cycle.

She placed one hand on Nate's shoulder, then the other in his hand. The music started and the dance begun. It was quite a fast paced dance, so there was no time for error. She didn't want to look like a fool again, like she had in front of Chuck. Chuck…

The thought made her sneak a peek over in his direction. Ew. The blonde bombshell was all grins. She was practically throwing herself to him and saying 'do whatever you want to me'! Plus her form in the dance was terrible.

But it didn't matter she kept telling herself. Chuck doesn't like her anyways…And why should she care anyways? She wasn't dating him!

"That necklace is really nice. Where'd you get it?" Nate offered her a compliment. She always loved compliments. But she acted as if it was no big deal this time.

"Oh Chuck gave it to me, for my birthday." She told him, nonchalantly. Still gaping over at the man she spoke up.

Blair separated from Nate and moved onto another guy, Carter Baizen.

Chuck got near enough to Nate to talk to him because he had figured out a plan. "Punch me." He whispered to Nate.

"What?!" Nate asked like he had gone crazy.

"Punch me. In the eye!" He whispered more harshly.

"No! Why?!"

"It will impress Blair." He told him remembering that she had told Nate she liked it when he punched Carter. And Chuck knew Nate wouldn't punch Carter with no reason too. Why couldn't he have just gotten him to believe he was dating Blair like he had the first time? Then he wouldn't have had to come up with this last minute plan which resulted with him getting punched in the face.

"Have you gone insane?!"

"Just do it, man."

Nate looked hesitant. He didn't want to do this, but Chuck had said it would impress Blair. And he did want Blair.

"Remember that time in fifth grade my dad found porn in my room, so I told him it was yours and he told your dad. And you got grounded for a month. Plus Blair and Serena thought you were a perv." Chuck tried to get some reaction out of him. If he was going to punch him, now was the time to do it. Nate still looked like he was unable to. "Come one, man! How many things have I done where I deserved a good punch?"

Nate was still unsure. Chuck was his best friend. And sure he was an asshole pretty much every single minute of his life, but it didn't mean he could flat out punch him.

Chuck sighed, he really didn't want to do this, but he had no other choice, "Blair stripped for me the night you guys broke up."

A few seconds later, Nate balled up his fist and sent a blow right to Chuck's left eye.

He lost his balance and almost toppled over the girl he was dancing with. Luckily she moved quick enough so that Chuck was the only one that went down.

Nate stood there in shock and horror that he had actually done it. He had never punched him before.

Everyone had stopped dancing and stared at him. Seconds passed before security came onto the dance floor and pulled him away.

Blair had no idea what to do as she watched Nate get pulled out of the room. But then she saw the victim laying on the floor, "Chuck!" She ran over and knelt by him. "Oh my god." She said when she saw Nate had actually broke the skin. Chuck was bleeding from a small cut near his eye.

Well, she guessed he had saved up all his fighting for just one good punch. "Are you okay?" She asked as she moved his hand away from his face so she could look at it.

Before he got a chance to answer, Chuck's date, Stacy, ran up to them. "Oh, Chuck! Oh, you poor thing!" She also kneeled beside him.

"Hi, Stacy." Blair said in a condescending voice. "I've got everything under control here." Code for 'Back off, Bitch'.

The blonde rolled her eyes, "Chuck wants me to help. Don't you, Chuck?"

"Not really." He grunted as he covered his eye. It hurt like hell! Why did Nate have to punch so hard?

Stacy made a pouting face and Blair smirked, she waved at her telling her to just leave already!

Blair helped Chuck to his feet. Not that he really needed help, but she was acting like it was more serious than it was. "I just need some ice and I'll be fine." He told as they walked off the dance floor.

She found the refreshment table and put some ice in a glass for him. "Can you put some scotch in there too?" He asked with a smile. And she did so, saying no to him was beginning to be impossible.

She sat in a chair beside him and set the glass against his all-ready-bruising eye. He winced as she put a little bit of pressure on it. And Blair suddenly became angry with Nate for causing pain to his best friend. "He's such a jerk! Why did he do this?"

Chuck saw his plan was beginning to backfire, he tried to save it in anyway, "I told him you stripped for me the night you guys broke up. He was defending your honor." Maybe that would get her to think Nate was a hero for trying to punch him out?

"Why did you tell him that?"

"I was feeling guilty. I needed to tell him." He lied about his motive for telling their secret.

"There was no need to be. We're broken up. It was none of his business."

He reached up and touched her hand, it shivers down her spine. She hung her head in a shy way. But he was only trying to take the glass away from her so he could take a drink of the amber colored alcohol that filled half the glass. Then he gave it back to her so she could continuing playing nurse. Which she quite liked it…but only for Chuck.

"How does my face look? Am I totally hideous now?" He asked her, trying to get her laugh.

"No, you could never be hideous." She was inadvertently told him she thought he was always good looking, but he didn't notice.

"Good. Because I'm hoping the black eyes going to help me out with the women, make me look dangerous."

"Oh, yes. It's very sexy on you." She played along, although she really hoped he was only kidding about the other women.

When silence enveloped them, they only stared at each other occasionally. Blair's stare was more of a, 'you're sexy and I want to kiss you' lustful gaze. And Chuck's stare was more of an, 'I can't believe I told my best friend to punch me in the face' painful gaze.

"Soo…are you mad at Nate?" He asked, really needing to know if his plan had worked or not.

"Of course I am! Look what he did to you!" She yelled and accidentally shifted the glass on his eye too harshly.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, sorry!" She winced in pain with him.

He took the glass from her hand again and took a gulp. "Thanks. I think I'm going to go to the restroom and check out the damage."

"Okay." She watched him get up and leave. And he took his glass of scotch with him which made her laugh.

"Psst…Blair!" Someone called behind her, she turned around to see Nate hiding behind a plant.

"Asshole!" She got up and slapped him across the face.

Nate thought she certainly had a funny way of showing she was impressed.

"How could you do that? To your best friend!"

"Blair, I-" He was at a loss of words, this wasn't what was supposed to happen.

"Save it, Nate. I don't want to talk to you again." She stormed off, forgetting about how forgivable he had been when he showed her the pin on his sweater…"And I want my pin back!" She yelled back to him.

She walked past the bathrooms just as Chuck was stepping out, she grabbed his hand and started dragging him along with her, "Come dance with me." All her pissed off feelings she had towards Nate went away while she was holding Chuck's hand. He had nice hands. They were significantly larger than hers, but hers still seemed to fit perfectly in them.

Once the reached the ballroom, Blair set Chuck's hands on her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The music had slowed down significantly so it was very intimate and it made Chuck nervous. Being close to Blair like this, touching her like this, made him unsure why he was doing all this. And he didn't like second guessing himself.

Blair looked at his eye, it was swollen and bruised with a small cut. She touched it softly, he smiled at how much care she took not to hurt him. She was so close to him…she could smell the scotch on his breath. She wanted to taste it. To feel his tongue in her mouth would be the greatest feeling right now.

But knowing she couldn't suddenly start shoving her tongue down his throat, she laid her head against his shoulder and squeezed him tighter. Then in a whisper she admitted something she had been denying for awhile now, "I want you."

"Hmm?" He murmured, asking what she'd said. He rested his head on top of hers, affectionately.

"Nothing. Just hold me." She answered sadly as they swayed to the music.

Nate watched from a distant as the two danced closely. Everything was making sense to him now. When they had left the dance studio together, Blair always busy texting, the necklace he gave her, the strip dance she had done for him! Everything was falling into place. And making him believe Blair would be impressed if he punched him, it was really just a game to get him out of the picture and make Blair fall all over him.

His best friend was stealing his girlfriend. Right in front of him. This whole time. And he never even noticed.

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**Soooo? I reallllyyy want to know what you thought of this chapter, so please review.**

**And next chapter is Christmas! ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

Chuck sat at the dining table, waiting for his dad to say at least one word to him, or maybe just look up from his newspaper.

Of course his father didn't really care about this breakfast anyways. He had only told his son to come because of the apparent fact that he wasn't spending Christmas with him, nor did he want to.

Chuck could never remember a Christmas he spent opening presents around a tree with his father, smiling over him. He wasn't even aware, until the fourth grade, that was what normal families did. But as he got older and did stuff on his own, he found ways to forget about all this. Such as, going to a complete for off country, having mindless sex with foreign hookers, and occasionally hanging with his best friend. But this only distracted him for a short while, and when it did he mostly spent time in an empty hotel room. Drinking a bottle of scotch and dreaming of what it would be like to have a loving father.

Now that everything was so different, and Chuck was so different, he could think of nothing he wanted more than to spend Christmas with his father. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen.

So, he continued picking at the prepared food, awaiting his attention.

Bart put down the newspaper, took a drink of the coffee, and looked at his son. "So, what are your plans for the holidays?" Trying to a show a little bit of interest.

"Not sure."

"Not sure? You always know. You have your drugs and prostitutes waiting for you when you get off the plane, you're that prepared."

"Actually, you don't have any clue what I do, so don't try and act like it." Chuck was sick of his father acting like he knew him, he didn't know anything. And it was time to do something about it.

"Well, I'm spending it with Lily and her kids."

"Good for you." He said in the least genuine way possible.

"I would ask you to come, but I'm sure you would screw everything up between us again."

"Right, Father, because that's my goal in life. To embarrass you and make your life miserable." The sarcasm and bitterness could easily be heard.

Bart stared him down, Chuck did the same. They hated how similar they were to each other.

"I know this is a bad time to ask, _Dad._ And now you probably won't even agree, but I was thinking of getting a job." He stopped to see his father's reaction, which was sheer surprise and confusion. "I was wondering if I could intern or something at your company." And he became more surprised.

Yes, he was only doing this to make Bart proud of him. He had said to impress him he should've gotten better grades and after school job.

The old man was literally at a loss of words, and that never happened to him. He never thought in his entire life would he hear those words come from Chuck's mouth. He was so flustered that he had forgotten about the previous argument they had but a second ago. "I'll see what I can do." He muttered quickly, trying to not let any of his emotion slip through.

"Thanks. I should get to school. I hope you have a nice time with Lily…and Serena and Eric, those are her kids incase you were unaware." Chuck pushed his plate away, he had mostly the same amount of food as it had when it was given to him, but now it was spread out and rearranged. He stood from the table, grabbed his bag, and left his father alone.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Blair strutted through the hall, trying to keep some of her dignity as everyone turned and whistled at her. Being in the boy's hall sucked. She had to keep reminding herself of her mission. Find Chuck. Find Chuck. Find Chuck.

You would think none of these boys every got laid by the way they drooled over her. Oh, who was she kidding? She was just too hot for any guy to say no. She was hoping Chuck fell under the same category as all the guys there. The begging to fuck her category.

Once she found the classroom she thought he had the next class in, she waited by the door.

It had been a week and half since the cotillion ball and her need for Chuck was growing and growing. She couldn't hide her feelings forever. She hadn't told anyone, not even Serena. She needed to find out if he could possibly feel the same way about her before she told anyone about this embarrassing crush.

Was it a crush? She wasn't sure if it qualified as a crush? When did feelings go from a crush to something more?

While Blair waited she started looking at the papers at a near by bulletin board. Most were informing kids of due dates, tutoring, or events. But when paper tacked to the board looked like an assignment and she began reading it.

_If she knew._

_If she knew how I felt would she want me? Or just be repulsed? The fear of rejection makes think the latter would be more possible._

_If she knew the many things I would do for her would she want them from me? Truthfully, I could never see that happening. Not now. Not ever…Not anymore._

_I've done everything to keep us apart. To save her from the pain and misery I would cause her. She doesn't deserve it. And I don't deserve her. _

_I force myself to be her friend. Not seeing her at all would be too difficult. Even though every time she touches me it kills me. The simple sweep of a hand across my arm, even if by accident, reminds me of the touch I will never be able to feel between us. _

_Because I love her and because of that she will never know the way I feel._

It went on to say many more things about love, desire, and want. The name had been blacked out with marker.

Blair was moved by it. She didn't know what it was about it, but something made her love every word written on the paper.

"Uh, Blair? You do know this is the boy's hall? And last time I was informed, you were a girl." Dan's voice interrupted her fixation on the paper.

"Yeah, yeah Humphrey, I know where I am. I thought Chuck had English third period. I was looking for him."

"Nope, fifth. I have the pleasure of having him in my class." He said fake joy, and an even faker smile.

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll leave then. Is this yours?" She pointed to the paper. "You are the best writer in the school; I can't imagine anyone else pulling such a literary masterpiece out of their ass." She was sure he had written it.

"Well I wouldn't call it a masterpiece just yet," He tilted his head and smiled. "Chuck wrote it." Blair tried not to let her mouth drop open, "Or I should say, paid someone else to write it. There's no way Chuck Bass could write something as meaningful as that, or be in love for that matter."

"You don't really know him." She smiled, thinking of lovely Chuck writing such thoughtful words.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure I do…a memory of him trying to rape my little sister comes to mind."

"You don't know what he's really like. Obviously!" The smile didn't leave her face and she motioned to the paper. "I mean Jenny could've been lying." The skinny, blonde wasn't her favorite person these days.

"Too bad she's not. I saw him on top of her, holding her down, trying to force his lips onto hers." Dan hated that she was trying to defend him.

"Well, maybe she's just a little tease that wanted to turn back after she gave him the wrong idea."

"Right, Blair. Stick up for him all you want, it's not going to make anything you say true. He tried to rape her and you can't stand knowing something like that."

"Fuck off, Humphrey. The fact that you're dating Serena doesn't make you special. You're still poor Dan Humphrey from Brooklyn, who absolutely no one likes. Except Serena, but she has bad judgment, what can I say?" Blair smirked and starting walking away, until she stopped and faced him again. "And, this paper!" She felt like ripping it off the board and throwing it in his face, only knowing it was Chuck's stopped her. "Chuck Bass wrote it! I know he did. And saying he didn't, won't make it true." She used his own words against him, then walked off, not wanting to see his face any longer.

She knew Chuck had written that paper. And she was hoping it was about a certain petite brunette with deep brown doe-eyes that had been his friend as long as she could remember. There was no one else it could possibly been written about!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Blair sat on the steps with her posse and best friend. She jabbed her spoon into her yogurt, imaging it was Humphrey's face and she was spooning out his eyeballs.

"Is there a problem, Blair?" Serena finally asked.

"You know what your asshole of a boyfriend said?! That Chuck tried to rape Jenny! It's unbelievable! The nerve that good-for-nothing scum has for saying something about Chuck. He doesn't even know him. Barely. What have they talked once?" She continued using the spoon as an imaginary weapon as she blurt out everything that was on her mind.

Serena hung her head, not wanting to have to say anything.

"Serena?" Blair asked, becoming mildly angry that she hadn't said something in return.

"I'm sorry, B, but it's true."

"What?!"

"I saw him. We both did. At the Kiss on the Lips party, they were on the roof. Jenny texted Dan, for help."

Blair scoffed and shook her head in disbelief.

"…He tried to do it to me too." She admitted wanting her best friend to know everything about Chuck before she did anything with him.

She looked at the blonde with hurt eyes. She couldn't believe these words were coming out of her mouth. "No." She shook her head; tears were forming in her eyes.

"He was really rough, Blair. It was scary, the way he was trying to force me. And Jenny, she's way smaller than me so it must've been worse for her."

"Why are you telling me this?!" She screamed, letting her emotions fly. She was definitely crying now.

"Because I don't want you to get into the same situation. And I think, with the way you are with him and everything, you would be less inclined to say no." Serena told her friend, sadly.

"What? You think he would force me into having sex? Then what, throw me to the side of the road?" Her voice was cracking due to her tears, "He wouldn't do that!" She snatched up her bag and got to her feet. She stood in front of Serena a second before throwing her yogurt cup onto her lap. Maybe it was a bit dramatic and childish, but Blair was upset and didn't know what else to do. She then took off running towards the school.

She didn't stop to take a breath once, just kept running. When she reached the school, she saw Nate and Chuck leaning up against the brick wall, smoking cigarettes. Well, they looked like cigarettes from where she was but they could be something else. She continued running towards them.

"Blair?" Nate asked confused as soon as he saw her approaching. Chuck turned his head to see what he was talking about, but when he did he was surprised by Blair's body running straight into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as tight as possible, and buried her head against it.

"Blair? Blair, what's wrong?" He asked, worried and urgent. He stroked her hair to comfort her. He glanced back and forth between Nate and the top of her head with a perplexed look, Nate shrugged his arms showing he was just as baffled.

She lifted her head up and stared into his eyes. Her own were red and tear stricken, but his were beautiful chocolate brown, just as she had remembered. With the way Serena was explaining him you would've thought they were red and he would have horns sticking out of the top of his head. "I need to talk to you," She gripped the collar of his shirt tightly. You couldn't pry her tiny hands any from it with all the force in the world. "Alone." She hugged him again, leaning her head against his chest. She smiled happily for a moment, then opened her eyes to glare at Nate. He still stood there, staring back at her.

He looked up and Chuck, questioningly. The face Chuck gave him said he had no clue what was going on and to just leave so he could find out.

Nate seemed a little less willing to do so. He felt something going on between and didn't want to leave them alone together. Everything they were doing lately was a big neon sign, flashing in front of his face that said CHUCK AND BLAIR ARE TOGETHER!

"Go Nate! I need to talk to Chuck!" She yelled at him when he was still unmoved from the spot where he was standing.

"It's okay, man." Chuck said, he was most likely going to tell him what this was all about later.

Nate didn't want to take any action against them quite yet, so he nodded his head and walked off. As soon as Blair thought he was far enough away, she looked back up at Chuck, putting his hands on his face and searching his eyes for an answer.

"Blair, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Did-did you try to…force Jenny and Serena into having sex with you?" She needed to hear it from him. There was no way to be absolutely sure all of this was true unless she heard it from him.

Chuck was surprised by her question, and hurt. "Yes." There was no use in denying it. She deserved the truth.

Her heart sank to the ground. It didn't seem possible at all that Chuck, her Chuck, could do something like that. She felt tears coming again, "I knew something happened with you and Jenny at the party, since Dan and Serena came dragging her out of there, but I-…and Serena?" Knowing about Serena was probably the worse of the two. She thought he didn't want anything to do with her.

"Blair, I'm sorry. I regret it. I would never do anything like that now. You know me…" He searched her face for some kind of hope she would forgive him.

Chuck was right, she did know him. And she knew that was something he wouldn't do anymore, especially not to her like Serena had suggested…not that Blair would want to say no. She sniffled and took a deep breathing. Washing her of any angry feelings she may still have left. "I believe you, and besides I'm sure they just sent you the wrong message."

He was confused and concerned by how easily forgiving Blair was being, "Blair, I-"

"Serena has always been known for sleeping around, and I'm sure little Jenny will be known for it soon too." Coming to the logic that he had only tried to force them because he knew they were sluts.

"Blair, that's not what happened." He grabbed the sides of her arms, begging her to listen. "I almost _raped_ them." He told her, clearly.

Images of Chuck forcing his body onto them flashed through Blair's head. His tongue shoving into their mouths. No! This was hers! He was hers! And it was not forced and frightening, it was sweet and loving. "But-but-"

"I regret it so much! I wish I could take it back," Ironic since he probably could've if he had been smart enough to wish himself back to that moment in time. "I would never do it again."

"Okay." She nodded, and forced a smile. "We can just pretend it never happened, alright?" She never wanted to think of such an awful thought again.

Blair wasn't usually one to forgive and forget, so he thought this reaction was strange. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm positive. Let's never talk about it again." She smoothed out his jacket and shirt from where she had bunched it up tightly in her hands.

"Okay…what do you want to talk about?"

"Let's talk about how you're going to come over to my house, on Christmas Eve. I will need to give you your gift. And I won't be free until then cause my dad's coming." She smiled and swung around in front of him, which she seemed to do a lot around him.

"Christmas eve?"

"Yeah. Christmas Eve _night_. My mom's having a party and I'll be bored out of my mind, so you can keep me company." She chirped. Without evening noticing, she slid her hands into the pockets of his jacket. Her hands were freezing and she'd forgotten her gloves.

He hadn't been planning on staying in town, but he felt the need to please this beauty standing before him. So, staying in New York for Christmas? Sure, why not? "Uh, yeah. Sounds cool." He slid his hands into his pocket, not noticing Blair's hands were already there since her close proximity to him. His hands hit hers, which were like ice cubes.

"Oh, god, sorry! I didn't even notice I did that!" She began to jerk her hands away, but he grabbed them and held them in his pockets.

"Jesus! Your hands are freezing." He held them tight, trying to warm them back up.

She felt the heat in her cheeks as she blushed. It felt kind of good considering the cold, but she wanted the red to go away before he noticed. "Yeah, well it is pretty cold out." She said and watched a cloud of fog leave her mouth. Cold enough to see her breath. She thought of a way she could easily warm her lips up…she wondered if Chuck would object. All she had to do was lean in a little bit more…

"So, you said your dad was coming?"

Damn it, Chuck! She had just been about to do it. "Uh, yes. For sure this time." She grinned.

"Good. You excited?"

He rubbed on her hands, which was making it hard for her to answer. "Of course!" After she snapped out of her obsession with his smoldering eyes. But he continued touching her hands, how was she supposed to concentrate with him rubbing like that?! She would like him to rub something else. Oh, god! Back to planet earth! She felt smacking herself across the face. 'You are talking to Chuck right now, who is your friend and has no clue about your true feeling for him,' she told herself. 'Oh, why doesn't he have a clue?!' She prayed for him to notice. Notice something!

"Well, I'm glad. I don't want it to be a rerun of thanksgiving." He said, almost protectively.

"It won't, no need to worry."

The bell, for school to start back up, rang and people had started flowing in from the sidewalk through the gates of the school. She pulled her hands away of Chucks and out of his pocket. He looked at her, not understanding for a moment, then he saw the many people entering school now and walking close by them. He stood there awkwardly a minute before saying, "Yeah, well I got to get to class." And he ran off before Blair got a chance to say anything back.

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Blair hated her mother's Christmas party even more than she thought she would. Plus, the fact that Roman was hogging all of her daddy's attention was not pleasing her. She pouted, wishing Chuck was here right. He was supposed to come soon. They hadn't set a specific time, so night was the only hint to when he was coming she had. And it was night, so he had to be coming.

She moped up to her room where Serena, Eric, and Vanessa were sprawled out on the bed. Working on something she had no interest in caring about. She hated having that Brooklyn girl even in her home, but it was for her best friend. Who she had forgiven about the whole 'Chuck's a rapist' thing, since she never wanted it to be mentioned to her again.

Vanessa decided to take a break from the computer she was glued to. She got up from the bed and stretched her legs, looking around Blair's room. Some pictures on the nightstand caught her attention. One was of two smiling kids, a girl and a boy. The other was of Blair, Serena, Nate, and Chuck, taken right around the time Serena had left for boarding school.

Vanessa picked up the one of the two small children and examined it more closely. They both had brown hair and brown eyes. If she didn't know better she would've guessed the two were twins. Everything about them seemed to be the same, even their smiles were similar. She picked up the other picture and compared the two. Seeing if there were similarities between the children and the older four.

"Is this Chuck?" Vanessa asked Blair, pointing to the boy.

"Yes." She answered simply, not wanting to talk to her longer than she had too. She had dragged out an old box of photos a few weeks ago, when found the one of Chuck and her as children. It was one of the very few of them alone, it was probably the only one that was actually good. She usually took pictures with Nate and Serena, Chuck had been stuck being her third favorite.

Blair went back to examining her nails, to see how perfect and flawless they were. When she saw Vanessa stood unmoved, from the side table, she got up and stood next to her.

She was admiring the picture, affectionately. And Blair did not like it. Her finger skimmed lightly over Chuck's photographed face. Almost too perfect to be a normal child, he belonged in magazines or splattered all over the television. His genuine smile, the one that youth gave you, made you want to hug him. "Can I help you?" Blair asked when Vanessa didn't put down the properly framed picture.

"He was a cute kid." She admitted, smiling. Poor girl, not realizing how pissed Blair would be after that remark.

"Yeah, he was." She gritted through her teeth, she tilted her head waiting for the dazed moron to put it down.

"And this is you?" Vanessa asked another question.

"Yes." Blair snapped and grabbed the picture from her; she set it down nicely on the table. But Vanessa picked up the other picture.

"He grew up nice too." Complimenting the older Chuck now. "He kinda seems like he should be a model or something, don't you think?"

Did she think? Of course she thought his gorgeous face was worthy of being a model. Did she not think she had been admiring his sheer beauty since forever?! Surely she had just now started noticing it more, but even when she was just his friend she thought he looked amazing.

Blair cleared her throat, if she didn't put down that picture _now_, the claws were coming out. No one would be able to stop her. A scenario where she jumped on Vanessa and had her screaming for help while she pulled her hair and punched her in the face played through her head. Instead, she took the picture out of her hand and placed in its spot behind the other photo.

"Do you like Chuck?" Blair asked, straight forwardly with her hand in her hip.

Vanessa could now hear the menacing and threatening voice of Blair Waldorf. "He's nice and cute, what's not to like?" She shrugged her shoulders and moved away from the mini brunette, who very well could be the next Cruella Devil for all she knew.

"What's not to like is that he doesn't like _you_?" She told her matter-of-factly.

"Right, since I'm sure he's totally in love with you." She retorted, sarcastically.

"How would you know? You've talked to him what, twice?!" She started raising her voice. This would not be happening. She would not have the girl from Brooklyn with hideous style and absolutely nothing in common with Chuck, take him away!

"Blair, calm down." Vanessa told her when Serena and Eric started paying attention to their conversation. Her voice was now a whisper, "I don't see what the big issue is."

"Nothing," Blair huffed, "Just stay away from him." She left the room in a hurry. She hoped maybe Chuck had arrived.

"What was that about?" Serena asked when she was gone.

"I guess I was moving in on a place where she'd already marked her territory."

"Huh?" Serena asked again.

"Chuck. If I had known they were a thing I wouldn't have said anything. I should've figured." She realized they had acted like they were into each other whenever she saw them.

"Oh, they're not a thing. She's just a bit sensitive and defensive about him right now." The blonde explained.

A little while later Blair thought it was safe to come back up, she found Vanessa glued to her computer again. Good. Eric was still cutting out paper snowflakes. And Serena was…looking through her jewelry?! She saw her best friend sitting at her vanity and sifting through different pieces that she like and didn't like. On her neck was the necklace Chuck had given her for her birthday.

"What are you doing?!" She practically screamed.

"What? Trying on your stuff. How does this look on me?" She faced her and showed off the sparkly thing on her neck.

"Take it off! Now!" She didn't want anyone else touching it.

"Blair, what's wrong? You've never cared if I looked at your stuff before. And I've never seen this." She looked at the necklace in the mirror.

"Serena! Take it off!"

"Blair, what's the problem?" She asked while taking it off. As soon as Serena had it all the way off Blair snatched it up.

Serena was confused and also worried for her best friend, "Hey guys, I think we're all done with everything, right? Why don't we get this stuff together and head out."

They cleaned all the paper and glue up, threw it in a box, and started walking from the room. But Serena stayed behind to talk to her friend a minute. "Blair, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just my dad and Roman are kind of irritating me."

"And maybe something to do with what I told you about Chuck today?"

Blair scoffed, "No."

"B, I know you like him. It's okay." Serena put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You have seen this necklace before." She said putting it down by the rest of her jewelry. "It's the one Chuck gave me for my birthday."

"And that was very sweet of him." She smiled.

"He's not just trying to have sex with me, S." Blair said to her, seriously.

Serena nodded and gave her best friend a hug. She still wasn't sure if she believed her or not, but whatever. She had a feeling she would be seeing a bit more of Chuck, now that there parents were dating.

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Blair sat in a chair near her vanity, Chuck had just texted her to say he was on his way. Mostly everyone from the party was gone now, so there really wasn't a point in him coming anymore. She felt as if she was on good terms with her father now, so there wasn't any need for comforting.

Christmas hadn't gone as well as she planned. Of course, nothing did anymore. She sulked over the fact that her father had bought a place with Roman in France. She had wanted him to come back him home! But at least she knew they both cared about her. They had decorated a whole room just for her when she would come and visit them.

The thoughts she was having soon became related to Chuck. She could never keep her mind set straight! What happened with Vanessa earlier was still bothering her. Any girl seemed like a threat when it came to Chuck. She knew how he was with women. He could never resist.

Blair perked up when she thought of a brilliant plan to make this Christmas way better than any before.

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Shit! Shit! Shit! He was so late! Chuck tried to walk smoothly into the elevator without seeming to be in such a big hurry.

He had been hanging out with Nate all night. He would have felt bad not spending time with him, it was practically their tradition. Chuck had planned on leaving much earlier, but his best friend really knew how to draw him in, scotch and girls.

He stepped out of the elevator into an almost empty apartment. Damn it! There was no one here now! He knew Blair was going to be disappointed and angry. He'd left her alone all night.

He started walking to the stairs and saw Eleanor, being wooed by a man, on the couch. She looked over to see who had walked in, "Chuck! Blair told me she had invited you." She was all smiles for her daughter's good friend.

"I'm a little late I'm afraid." He said, gentlemanlike.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll just be happy you're here, she'll forget all about the being late part." She started giggling when the man moved towards her neck.

"I hope so." he winked and made his way up the stairs.

Once he reached Blair's room and the top, he heard music coming from behind the door. He was hoping it wasn't some heart breaking song, and she was sitting on her bed, crying her eyes out, eating a box of chocolates. He really couldn't stand seeing that.

He lightly rapped the door with his knuckles before opening it.

She stood still, in a direct line from the door. He walked forward towards her, and all she could do was smile. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"It doesn't matter. You're here now." She smiled shyly at him.

"Yeah, I guess. Blair, what are you doing?" He looked around the room, which was very dim and lit only by candles, the music was soft.

"Giving you your present." The whimsical grin never left her face. Chuck opened up to say something, but she went on before he could. "I know you liked the dance I did for you at Victrola. I could see it. You wanted me…Do you want to see it again? A private showing?"

She took some steps closer to him, removing her dress in the process. She pulled the zipper down slowly, and she enjoyed watching his face as his mouth dropped open.

He had no words to form. It was like cotton had been shoved down his throat, he tried to spit something out, but his mouth just hung open. Why was this happening? How was this happening?! Blair was not supposed to interested him at all! Just friends!

She dropped her dress to the ground, revealing lacy, skintight, black lingerie. She took her hair tie and let her brown, curly locks hang over her shoulders.

Blair moved even closer. So close they were now only an inch apart and she could feel his breath on her lips. Chuck followed her every move with his eyes. She felt her heart beating faster and faster the nearer she got. She wanted this, she wanted him. She grabbed his hands and brought them to her hips. She held them there a moment, then slowly slid them up her almost naked body.

She wanted him to feel her. Hoping that if she would make him want it enough he would take it.

She drug his soft hands over her even softer skin. They went over the sides of her breasts, and she had them skim the tops, which were peeking through the sexy bra. She was never one to have huge breasts, but she didn't think Chuck was minding at this point.

"Chuck, please." She whispered, almost touching him. Without giving him a chance to think, she crushed her lips onto his.

He squeezed her waist in his hands; she took it as a good sign and slipped her tongue through his lips. It was an even better sign when he started devouring her more after that.

Blair's fingers were grasping his hair tightly, begging for more. Chuck ran his hands down her waist and over her ass. He squeezed both of her cheeks.

She hopped up, so he would pick her up and she wrapped her legs around him.

She breathed heavily and threw her head back as he kissed her neck and down her chest.

Her lips brushed against his ear then whispered, "Fuck me."

Chuck snapped out of this trance he was having and set Blair on the ground. She grumbled, liking their previous position, and nibbled at his lip.

He attempted pushing her away, but this made her more persistent. She tugged on his neck to try and bring him closer.

"Blair, stop." He ordered, sternly. But she kept reaching for his lips. She needed those lips.

What Chuck needed, was for her to stop. He grabbed and pushed her into the wall, and pinned her arms against it so she was unable to reach for him.

"Chuck?" She asked, with her doe eyed confused gaze. Was this the rough Serena had been talking about?

"Stop."

"What? Why?" She tried to push her head forward to make their lips meet again. They had been doing so well.

"We can't do this, Blair."

"Why not? Does this have to do with Nate? Because we're broken up, whatever we do is none of his business."

"No, it doesn't have to do with Nate."

"Then what's the problem?"

"We can't do this. We'll only end up getting hurt."

"Well, maybe hurt later is worth having this right now." She tried moving closer to him again.

"Blair," He said, raising his voice, "We can't be together. Ever." He let go of her and backed away.

"But…Chuck…" she walked towards him. His back was facing her; she reached out and touched it softly.

"Just leave me alone!" He yelled, then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Blair stood stunned and half naked in her room. She only let a few tears fall before pulling herself together.

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**Not my best chapter, but I hope you liked it. Yes, Yes, Yes, Chuck is very stupid for not knowing Blair and him are inevitable. I know you didn't get to see a lot of Nate's plan of action, but that will come eventually…**

**Next chapter is the one with the swimming party thing. You should be looking forward to it because I am! :] Review! That's what I enjoy most about writing this! Hearing (or reading) what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

I know most of this story has been mostly about Blair and you're probably wondering what's going on with Chuck. But the next chapter will mostly be about him!

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Blair walked along the side of the pool, acting like she was simply minding her own business. Her red polka dot bikini showed off her curves, this had many boys turning their heads. But she was only watching one.

Chuck, of course, was being showered with propositions from every slutty girl in the school. He gave them his signature smirk, which was probably his way of saying, "In due time, ladies."

Blair felt like punching a hole in the wall every time a girl approached him. He would have sex with every girl here! Except her! She didn't understand why he had turned her down. He had said they couldn't be together, but why not? There was nothing wrong with it. And if people did find something wrong with it, then that would just be there problem.

Blair truly wanted to be with him. And she knew that some part of Chuck wanted to be with her too. He showed that when he had kissed her and felt her up on Christmas Eve.

She was going to make him see that he wants her. That _she_ is the girl he cares about. All these other girls mean nothing to him. She was going to make herself so damn irresistible it would be impossible for him to say no.

She stalked over to where he was perched on the lifeguard post. There were a few girls, who were all smiles, surrounding him. Another girl was walking in his direction, but Blair pushed her in the pool before she could get any closer.

"Hey! Watch it!" The girl yelled when she resurfaced in the water.

Blair shot her eye daggers and stepped next to the life guard seat. Chuck was turned away from her and chatting with the girls on the other side. She tried waiting, not wanting him to think she was jealous, but then she gave each of the girls a glare. They almost immediately stopped talking, and then slowly moved away. They knew not to mess with Blair Waldorf.

Chuck watched them walk away and she cleared her throat. He turned in her direction, "Blair." He greeted her with a nod of his head.

She gave him her most cutesy smile, "Hi, Chuck." He took off his black sunglasses so he could see better. A lack of sleep had formed bags under his eyes, "Wow, you look tired. Are you okay?"

He stepped down from the tall seat and stood in front of her. "Fine. I just haven't slept much lately." He hadn't been sleeping much because he realized he wasn't as good at saying no to Blair as he hoped. He spent most nights, lying in bed, thinking of how things had made a wrong turn.

Chuck tried to walk past her, but she grabbed his arm and turned him around to face her again. "What's wrong?" She questioned.

"Nothing." He grumbled.

She didn't want to see him grouchy or angry or whatever he was. "You haven't gone swimming yet." She told him. "Come with me." She suggested with a smile.

Chuck was hesitant; being close to Blair might be a bad idea. But she insisted and pulled him along to the opposite end of the pool where very few people were. She then dragged him into the water with her.

The heated water felt good against her skin. She watched Chuck as he stood awkwardly in the water. She felt bad that he was uncomfortable and didn't know how to act around her.

She swam up to him and stood close to his body. His shirt was wet and sticking to his chest. He wasn't muscular, but Blair still thought he looked better than any other shirtless guy there.

"Don't you feel better now?" She asked, hoping the water would loosen him up. He said nothing and just stared at her. She put her hands on his shoulders and started massaging them. "What's wrong?"

Chuck looked at her with saddened eyes, and took hold of her waist. He pulled her closer and put his head down on her shoulder.

This hug wasn't his way of saying he wanted to be with her. It was sad and his only meaning for it was trying to tell her they were only friends and couldn't be anything more.

Blair misinterpreted the embrace and intertwined her fingers in his hair. When he pulled away from her she forced her lips onto his. "Blair!" He pushed her away. "What's wrong with you? Someone will see us."

"Who cares who sees?" She moved closer to him again, but he only pushed her away.

"Stop! I told you we couldn't do this." He said angrily. He then got out of the pool and walked back towards where most of the people were, leaving Blair.

She sighed and crossed her arms in a pouting way, and then swam over to where her friends were on the other end of the pool.

Nate saw this whole interaction between the two of them and stormed over to Chuck.

He finally had proof that they had something going on.

Chuck was now looking for a drink at the table that was scattered with empty bottles and used glasses. He rummaged for some small bit of alcohol, but couldn't find any. He grumbled and threw himself onto a nearby bench.

"Chuck," Nate said, walking up to him, "We need to talk." His brow was set in a distinct line, showing he was serious.

"What about?"

"I know about you and Blair." He told him.

"What?" Chuck shot up from where he was sitting and looked confused.

"You guys are together, or maybe you're just fucking her. I don't know, but there's something going on between you two." Nate accused his best friend.

"Nathaniel, you are mistaken. I would never do that. Blair and I are just friends."

"I saw you kiss her in the pool." Nate said, he would like to see him try to explain that.

Chuck thought for a second and smoothed out his wet hair. "It was nothing. She's just drunk, and didn't know what she was doing. I'm sure she would kiss you too if you were talking to her."

Nate was unsure of what to say. He didn't know if he should believe Chuck or not. He was known for lying and tricking people, but he was his best friend and he trusted him for the most part.

"Okay, man. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions." He put a friendly hand on Chuck's shoulder. He turned to look at Blair laughing with her friends in the pool.

"Maybe you should try to talk to her again." Chuck suggested.

"She said she never wanted to speak to me again, since your idiotic plan backfired."

"I thought it was a pretty good plan." He said and shrugged his shoulders. There was a short silence between them as Nate was staring at Blair. "Just try to talk to her." Chuck pushed him, urging him to take a step closer to the petite brunette.

"Fine." He agreed and walked off towards the pool.

Chuck then saw Serena come in and take off the shirt that was covering her black one-piece suit. "Hey, Serena!" He jogged over to where she was standing at the edge of the pool.

"What do you want Chuck?" You could say she was less than happy to see him.

"What? No loving sibling greeting?"

"I knew you just wanted to mock this horrible development in our parent's relationship." She rolled her eyes.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't. I just said that out of habit. I wanted to tell you since our parent's may be getting engaged that we should try to get to know each other again."

"Get to know each other again? Isn't that your way of saying have sex?" She put her hands on her hips and looked at him like he was a disgusting pig.

"No! Well, yes it is. But that's not what I was meaning this time. I thought you, Eric, and me could hang out some time."

"Uh, sorry Chuck, but I'll have to pass." Serena told him snidely. She was about to walk away from him when she Dan and Vanessa. "Hey!" She ran into Dan's arms, then greeted Vanessa with a polite wave and a smile.

The girl had her camera out and was recording everyone in the room, trying to get anything remotely interesting.

Chuck was going to leave them alone until he remembered something he wanted to say to Dan. "Excuse me." He interrupted.

"Oh, hi, Chuck!" Dan said in a fake cheerful voice. Vanessa ignored her friend and smiled and the handsome guy she liked more and more every time she saw. Even though she had only talked to him a few times.

"Listen, Dan. All I wanted to say is, I'm sorry for what happened at the Kiss on the Lips party. I would like to apologize to Jenny sometime, but I never see her."

Both Dan and Serena stared at him with their mouths wide open, Vanessa was smiling even bigger. "Uh, who are you and what have you done with Chuck Bass?" Dan asked him, still looking stunned.

"You don't think I'm pure evil do you?"

"Well I was beginning to suspect…are you feeling alright? You look a little tired." He said like it was the reason for Chuck apologizing.

"Just tell Jenny I would like to make a formal apology to her sometime." He rolled his eyes and walked away. He wasn't going to waste his time on people who hated him.

Serena and Dan walked off in a different direction, but Vanessa started following Chuck. "So, some party." She said from behind him.

"I guess so. You get used to it when you're filthy rich." He turned around to talk to her.

"Apparently." She filmed the kids in the pool. "It must be a fabulous life." She turned her camera off so she could talk to him.

Blair stood in the pool, surrounded by her "closest" friends. (She didn't fully believe minions could friends.) She tried to focus on whatever boring story Kati and Is were telling, but it was difficult with that Brooklyn bitch talking to her man.

She was so flirtatious it made Blair want to rip her camcorder out of her hands and throw it at her face.

She was beginning to hate that Chuck was, well…Chuck Bass.

He would sleep with any girl without thinking twice about. This meant he would most likely fuck Vanessa as soon as she asked. Without hesitation.

Chuck thought _any_ girl was worthy of being touched by him…even Vanessa. So why not her?

"B?" Kati's voice entered her thoughts. "You okay?" Is chimed in.

"What? Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm pretty sure you're face is turning red." Is tilted her head.

"And you're hands are balled into fists." Kati pointed at them.

"Well, I'm fine!"

Blair stomped out of the pool, she didn't want to sit around and watch Chuck flirt with girls for the rest of the night.

"Where are you going?" They asked in unison.

"I'm leaving!" She reached for a towel and started drying off.

As she was drying her leg with the towel, she tried to have a casual look in Chuck's direction.

Her eyes found his bright red and white outfit, he was hard to miss. She focused on his trunks more than she should have. Then her eyes rolled up to his face, as soon as she saw he was fixated on her too she turned away.

'He saw me staring! He saw me staring!' She yelled in her head.

Blair stood up straight and threw the towel to the floor, not caring where it landed.

Before turning around, she looked Chuck directly in the eye.

She realized she didn't need to hide anything. He already knew she liked him. It wasn't a secret between them.

Chuck was the one to end the long gaze. He hung his head down and walked off in the opposite direction.

This action of his pissed Blair off severely.

She should've just left the party like she had planned to, that's what the little voice in her head was screaming for her to do. But what she really wanted to do was chase after him. And that's what she did.

Her bare feet hit the wet pool deck over and over. Jogging, or running, wasn't something she did often. Only when the situation called for it. She needed to get to Chuck quickly, therefore the situation called for it.

She was closing in on him, only ten feet away, when she heard a bloodcurdling scream.

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"No one say's anything, no one gets in trouble." Chuck said to the rest of the group, sinisterly.

Blair hadn't been listening to anything until he had spoken. Everyone else's voices were just droning noises compared to his low, husky voice.

Everyone agreed to what Chuck had said, except Dan Humphrey. "Uh, I don't think that's a good idea. I want to go to college and have a future. Not get expelled! Why doesn't someone come forward, so we don't all get in trouble?"

"Shut up! Chuck knows what he's talking about. Nobody says anything." Blair told him. She shifted her eyes back to Chuck and smirked, she was expecting a smirk back but he reverted his eyes back to the rest of the group.

She rolled her eyes; he was being acting like an obnoxious child. The little boy on the playground who was still convinced this girl had cooties.

"Everyone can get together to write their essays and my house." She blurted to the group.

They all smiled at her, apart from Dan who looked confused, knowing they wouldn't be writing their essays very much…or at all.

She really didn't desire the whole junior class messing up her nicely furnished house, but if Chuck was coming it would be worth it.

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"Don't touch that!" She yelled at some guy who was about to touch a vase on the mantel, and then handed some cocktails to her friends.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time. If only Chuck wasn't being such a drag by just laying across her couch, twirling the key to the- 'He has the key?!' Her mind screamed.

She trudged over to him where he was sprawled out, looking bored. "Chuck!" she snatched the key from him. "If someone saw you with this they would think you broke in!"

"I'm sure most people think that already." He said with almost slurred words.

"Well, I don't want the headmistress to find this on you and expel you."

"Why does it matter anyways? Big Bad Bart could just donate a new library in the Bass name and I'd be back in in a second. You shouldn't even care anyways." He tried to reach for the key, but Blair slid it into her pocket.

"Sorry, Chuck. But I do care. And there's nothing you can do about it." Chuck pursed his lips and looked away from her, out of discomfort. She only sighed, realizing he was still being stubborn. "I want to talk to you alone."

She dragged her finger over his thigh lightly and moved her head closer to his ear, "Meet me in my room in ten minutes." Her lips were so close it made him gulp.

She turned and walked towards her stairs, swinging her hips more than she usually did incase he was watching.

Chuck regained the excellent composure he had had until Blair had ruined it.

"Chuck," Dan approached him with Vanessa not far behind, "I know you're the one who broke into the pool."

"Sorry, Humphrey. But you're wrong."

"You have the key, I know it was you." Dan accused again.

"Dan, if he say's he didn't do it, he didn't do it." Vanessa defended the

"Do you know who you're defending?" He sounded offended that his best friend would choose the side of one of _them._

"I did take the key, but only to hide it so we all wouldn't get in trouble."

"That doesn't make any sense." Dan told him, you could tell he was seriously pissed by the way he was trying to act tough.

"Dan-"

"Why are you sticking up for him?"

"I just don't think he did it."

"Vanessa, get this through your head," He grabbed onto her shoulders for a moment, "this is Chuck Bass. I have gone to school with him for years, and he still didn't know my name even after I punched him in the face. He sexually assaulted my little sister. He gets away with everything horrible and sick he does. You hate these people, and this world, don't you? Well, he's the worst one."

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Blair hurried up to her room and put on her lingerie she had saved for just an occasion like this. You needed to look sexy and to-hot-not-to-touch when you were about to seduce a man.

She was hoping Chuck was ready to give into temptation and just have sex with her already!

She was sitting on the edge of her bed, one leg over the other, when someone knocked on her door.

Blair hoped her hair was perfect, and had just the right amount of curly volume. "Come in." She couldn't stop smiling. She wanted this so bad. She wanted him.

But it wasn't her gorgeous Chuck who entered, it was a certain blue-eyed ex-boyfriend.

"Wow, you all dressed up for me?" He asked, kind of laughing.

"Nate!" She felt like cursing at him for ruining, what was to be, a perfect moment.

Blair hurried over to her vanity and grabbed her robe that was hanging over the chair. It didn't cover much since it was practically see through, but it made her feel better.

"I don't remember you ever wearing anything that skimpy when we were dating."

"That's because I didn't." When she was with Nate she didn't want to or feel the need to wear slutty lingerie. But Chuck was a whole different person; she needed to get his attention. And that meant standing half naked in front of him.

"Well, my feelings are a little hurt." He joked.

"Did you come in here to make fun of me, or was there something you needed?"

"Who were you waiting for?" Nate suddenly turned serious, realizing he had been missing the obvious. If she wasn't waiting for him, she was waiting for someone else.

"It's not you're business."

"Was it Chuck?" He grew angry and took a step towards her.

Her breath hitched, caught off guard by his correct answer. "It's none of your concern who I was waiting for."

"It was him wasn't it?" He clenched his fists, "That son of a bitch! He lied right to my face and told me nothing was going on between you."

"He was telling the truth! Chuck has no interest in me. He's your best friend, and you should trust him. Now, if you'll excuse me."

She waited for him to leave before throwing on a dress over the lingerie and leaving her room.

If Chuck wasn't going to come on his own, she was going to force him.

Blair hurried down the stairs and started looking around for him. She caught a glimpse of his back just as he entered the elevator. She ran towards it, but it closed too soon. Tonight wasn't one of her luckiest nights.

She thought of taking the stairs, but she didn't want to be winded and sweaty when she got to him. So she waited for the elevator to come back up and then got in and pressed the bottom for the ground level. She didn't even care that she was leaving her own party; she needed to talk to Chuck.

After what must've been the slowest elevator ride ever ended, she darted for the doors. Chuck was already at his limo and she would have to run as fast she could if she wanted to get to him before the limo drove away.

Just as the driver was closing the door for him, she slid in. "I just need to speak with him." She smiled at the driver and shut the door.

"Blair, what the hell?" He asked, confused.

She slid on the leather seat over to him. She swung one leg over his, so she was straddling him. "I wanna talk." She whispered in a sultry voice and brushed her hand over his cheek.

"Okay, well can we do it without you on my lap?"

"Why? Don't think you can handle it?"

Chuck's only response was to redirect his eyes and purse his lips again.

"Stop doing that! Look me in the eye!" She grabbed his face with one and turned it towards her.

Blair stared into his eyes, trying to read them and get some insight into what he was so afraid of. Why was it so terrible for them to be together?

"What do you want?" He asked. It sounded sad, like he was tired of her chasing him around and just wanted this to end.

"You."

He partially laughed and looked away again.

"Chuck, I'm serious. I have feelings for you. And I know that deep down, in whatever soul you have, you have some feeling for me too."

"And how do you know that? I haven't I told you that I don't want you enough times?" He asked, angrily. He tore her hands off his face and held her wrists.

"You never said that. You only told me we couldn't be together. So I get the impression you do want me." She smiled and leaned in closer to him, not being turned off by his hostility.

At this point Chuck really saw the error in his ways when he was trying to be her friend. Obviously, that had been a bad plan from the start. "Why do you want me? What about me is appealing to you?" He sneered.

"I don't know."

He simply nodded as if knowing that's what she was going to say. Chuck didn't think Blair ever knew why she was so in love with him.

"I just know that for some reason I want you. I think about you all the time. When I see you my heart beats faster. And when we kissed…" She moved in closer, to kiss him, but he pushed her away. "I want you." She said again and ran her fingers through his hair and over his face. "Kiss me."

She was starting to give up hope, but the he spoke, "If I do…I don't think I'll be able to stop."

Blair smiled, "That's what I was hoping."

No more than a second later, she crashed her lips onto his. And they didn't stop.

Memories of a night in a limo flashed in front of Chuck's eyes, but he tried to ignore them and focus on the present.

When things began to get steamy, he stopped and asked her, "Are you sure?"

Just as he was afraid she might, she said nothing and only kissed him again.

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Blair felt a soft, cushiony pillow under her head once she awoke from her sleep. Before even opening her eyes, she remembered everything from the previous night.

It had been one of the best nights ever. Certainly the best night she'd had with Chuck.

She thought about all the people who had said no one enjoys their first time and how they were wrong. She knew someone who had enjoyed her first time.

She rolled over in bed and buried her head in the way too comfortable pillow. It smelled just like him. A smell she had always found somewhat interesting, but had not found it intoxicating until a couple months ago.

Once she finally opened her no-longer-sleepy eyes, she was half expecting to see him near to her. But she didn't see him.

"Chuck?" She asked, a little confused. Why wasn't he here?

She could see the rest of the suite from the bed so she knew he wasn't there at all.

Blair started to get worried, so she called him. Maybe he was out getting breakfast, she hoped.

The phone rang and rang, but he didn't pick up.

She got out of bed and threw on her clothes, then called a few more times. He didn't answer.

She set her phone back in her purse slowly, and a few tears trickled down her cheek.

Her instincts were telling she had been ditched.

Serena had warned her.

This was all her fault.

She left his suite in a hurry, letting only a tear at a time to fall and she would swipe it away quickly.

But when she got home and to her room, she collapsed on her bed and bawled like a baby.

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This chapter was harder for me to write than I thought it would be. That's why it took so long for me to update. Plus, I haven't had a lot of time to write since I got a job… babysitting. (I wouldn't describe myself as a 'kid loving person', so you can guess how enjoyable it is for me.) I'll try to update sooner, but until then…review!


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for all the wonderful feedback! I love reviews! I wanted to reply back to all of them and thank you guys, but I thought a better thanks would be updating another chapter really soon.

I just wanted to say something about how I write the characters in my stories, because I just got a review and someone said they thought Blair was being a little desperate. I _know_ that I might not get the characters spot on, but I try. I feel that my strong suit is writing Chuck. But if any of the characters don't seem like themselves, I'm sorry. Just remember this is a FAN story (and frankly I can make the characters however I want to make them), I'm not a writer on Gossip Girl, and I couldn't say _exactly _what a character would or would not do.

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Chuck sat at an empty bar, feeling more alone than he had in a really long time.

It was still pretty early in the morning, only around eight, so no one was there except for serious drunks, such as himself.

Taking long, slow gulps of his favorite alcoholic drink, he thought of the precious girl he still loved with all his heart. He had left her, alone, in his suite. Right after taking her virginity.

It was a cruel thing to do, but he had no other choice. He had sex with her, again. It was the biggest mistake he could've made. The only reason he was alive now was because he had wished to go back and change it.

And he had failed. Not like it was a big surprise to him. Anyone would've been able to guess he couldn't stay away from Blair. He wasn't strong enough to.

If he had any hope of stopping something from happening between them, then he could never speak to her again. So he ignored it every time the phone rang. He knew it was her. She was probably hoping something had happened and he didn't just abandon her.

Chuck hated himself for hurting her. He was so angry he could've jumped off a building, but he realized the best solution wasn't suicide. He'd learned his lesson the second time.

After he paid the large bill for all the scotch he managed to drink, he left, finally feeling numb enough to return home.

But when he did get back to his suite, he just grabbed some more scotch and started drinking straight from the bottle. Not like there was something better to do.

Flashbacks from the previous night wouldn't leave his brain. Blair's breasts and thighs and lips, all over him. She was most beautiful and supple girl he had ever had the pleasure of fucking. And it wasn't just sex, he did love her. Wholeheartedly.

A loud knock at the door disturbed him, he thought about just ignoring it. What if it was Blair? He couldn't see her, not now.

"Chuck?" His father's voice was able to be incredibly loud even through the door.

He got up from the couch and hurried to open it for his dad. "Hey." Chuck greeted him, trying to sound as sober as possible.

"I'm surprised you're dressed and you don't have a bunch of girls in you're bed." Bart said, sounding like his usual grouchy self as he stepped through the door.

"I'm hiding them in the bathroom." He tried to joke around and lighten the mood.

Bart didn't seem amused as he stared back his son. Chuck wondered what his dad's laugh sounded like, or if he had a nice smile. But then again, people probably wondered the same about him.

"I wasn't able to find a job for you at my company, but since you were so eager to do this…I thought you could shadow me for a few weeks and learn the ropes of the business."

"That sounds great." He was so surprised his father had suggested such a thing.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay, well I guess you can just come over when ever you get out of school."

Chuck nodded; he was at a loss of words. He didn't believe this was actually happening.

"Alright, I'll see you then."

Then he left. Chuck didn't care he hadn't said goodbye or that he wasn't fatherly. He was too excited about spending time with him while "working" with him. He was going to show Bart that he could be proud of his son.

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A week after hiding in his suite and missing school, Chuck finally decided to go. After all he couldn't stow away forever. He eventually had to go.

"Hey." Chuck said to Nate without much enthusiasm, and sat next to him at the table in the courtyard.

"Where have you been lately?"

"Just, you know," He avoided the question and looked down at the table, "been taking some time off."

"From school? It's not like some job where you get vacation days."

"Sorry I'm not the perfect student like you are." He retorted with a harsh voice. Not that Nate was a perfect student. He didn't get much better grades than Chuck.

"Well, you haven't been answering any of my calls."

"I wasn't answering anyone's, so don't get all hormonal about it and take it personally."

"Is there something you want to talk about?" Nate was suspicious of Chuck's hostile attitude.

"Don't ask questions you already know the answers to."

He knew better than to think Chuck actually wanted to tell him something and have a heart to heart. It was debatable that he even had a heart sometimes. But Nate wanted to be there for him, so he asked, even if Chuck hated it.

"Sweetie!" Blair squealed and ran for the table.

"Fuck." Chuck muttered under his breath. He had been hoping Blair would stay away from him.

But to his surprise, she didn't come running to him. She stopped by Nate and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Good morning." Nate turned to smile at the giddy brunette that was clinging to him extra tight.

"Good morning." She returned and kissed him softly on the lips.

Chuck was overwhelmed by a feeling of nausea, but he managed to get a semi-whole sentence out of his mouth without puking on them. "You guys got back together?"

"Yeah, we decided to give it another try." Nate's smile made him look painfully happy. Unfortunately for Chuck, the smile made something churn in his stomach.

"Yeah," Blair grinned back, then faced Chuck, "We're meant for each other, right?" Then she gave him a sickening smirk.

'This is what I wanted. This is what I wanted' Chuck told himself over and over. 'I fucking wanted this! Blair's not for me, she's supposed to be with…' He looked over at Nate and felt like punching him in the face. He couldn't handle this like he thought he would be able to.

Just as he was about to excuse himself from their small group, Nate began standing up, "Hey, I need to go talk to one of my teachers before class. I'll see you later." he leaned down and kissed Blair cheek like he always had when they were dating.

After he was out of sight, Blair sat down next to Chuck at the table. She tilted her head and looked at him expectantly.

"Trying to make me jealous?" He wouldn't admit it, but it had worked.

"Oh, please." She scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself. I'm over you."

"You're lying." He retorted, his temper fuming, but trying not to show it.

"Am not. After you left me alone at your suite I remembered that you're Chuck Bass. You're not the guy for me. So, I'm over you."

"Just because you say it over and over, doesn't make it true." Chuck sneered.

"Nate's the only one for me. He's nice, thoughtful, and he cares about me. Plus, I love him. You mean nothing to me." Blair crossed her arms over her chest and jutted her chin out in a stubborn and I'm-never-giving-in kind of way.

He leaned over, close to her, and put his hand on her thigh. He felt her shiver under him and savored having so much power over her. "You have no idea what I mean to you." He whispered in her ear, then stopped to suck on her lobe for a quick second.

Chuck then, abruptly, got up from the table and walked away like he hadn't even been talking to her at all.

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Nate and Chuck stood outside the gates of during lunch, pretty much staying in complete silence.

Chuck was entertaining himself by checking out all the girls who walked by, Nate was fiddling with his thumbs like an idiot.

At last, Chuck ended their silence. "Why aren't you hanging out with your girlfriend?"

"I always hung out with you at lunch when I was going out with her before." Nate answered like it was a stupid question.

"Oh, so you're just hanging out with me 'because you feel sorry for me?"

"Well, I know you don't have any other friends."

"Nice one, Nathaniel." He chuckled. He wasn't too repulsed by his best friend when it was just the two of them. But if Blair showed up, he was a goner.

Right on cue to ruin a good moment, both of their phones buzzed in their pockets. As they were synchronized, they pulled out their phones and looked at the message.

Gossip Girl here to ruin the day, once again! And a picture of Blair and him in the courtyard that morning didn't make it any better for Chuck.

_To close for comfort? Looks like B and C got up close and personal this morning. And right after poor clueless Nate left their sides! How could Chuck and Blair do such a thing?! Oh, right, their Chuck and Blair. They don't even need excuses. Everyone knows they're the real King and Queen. Nate was always just along for the ride. And looks like B has finally realized how boring he is…_

Chuck stopped reading and examined Nate's face as it grew angrier and angrier. Once he finished reading, he turned to him. Eyebrows set, Nostrils flared. "You son of a bitch!" Nate pushed him into the wall, "You told me nothing was going on between you two!" he grabbed onto Chuck's jacket.

He pushed back, "Nothing was!"

"Oh, so there is now?!"

"I didn't even know you guys had gotten back together."

"But you did this morning! And here's a picture of you, trying to make a move on my girlfriend." Nate waved his phone in his face.

"You don't know what you're talking about, so just back off and calm down."

A small crowd had formed around the two guys, they were eager to see some punches thrown and give them something to talk about for another week. It almost looked like would start calling out "Fight! Fight! Fight!" About half of them had their phones out and were either taking pictures or videos, the other half was to enthusiastic to see something happen they didn't want to look away.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Chuck? Do you care about anyone?! Have you ever?!" Nate started backing away from him, "No, you haven't. And no ones ever cared about you." And with that he turned and left Chuck standing in front of the growing crowd alone.

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"Have you heard from him yet?" Blair asked Serena, anxiously.

"No, B. But he's fine, stop worrying. He only left so he wouldn't have to be in the middle of you and Nate." She reassured her best friend and rubbed her back, comfortingly. "And I still can't believe you let him be that close to you. Gross." And she faked a shiver.

Blair started crying lightly, "B? What's wrong?"

"I don't understand why I like him so much! And he hurt me and I still really like him!" She tried to hold back the tears while she spoke, but it didn't work.

"Who? Chuck? How did he hurt you?" Serena was now frantic and worried.

"I had sex with him."

"What? You two had sex? It wasn't Nate? Wait- He hurt you when you were having sex with him?"

"No, no. I mean it was rough but I liked it-"

"Okay, don't tell me that." The blonde stroked her hair.

"When I woke up the next morning, he was gone. And he ignored me for a whole week. Then I talked to him that one day, then he's gone for two weeks!"

"He ignored you for a week after having sex with you?"

Blair sniffled and wiped some tears off her cheeks, "Yeah, and I know you want to say 'I told you so'…but I know he likes me, at least a little bit."

"Oh, B, I'm so sorry."

"I just wish he were here."

Serena paused for a moment before speaking again, "He will be."

"What?" She asked, confused.

"I know I can somehow convince my mom to convince Bart to force him to come back."

"You think so?" practically all of her tears were dry now and she was starting to perk up.

"Yes, I do. Now, B…take it." Serena handed what Blair thought to be the little box from hell. "You have to find out if you and Chuck are going to have a baby."

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And sure enough Serena had been able to get Chuck back there, in only a couple of days.

Lily, Eric, Serena, Bart and he were all having some sort of first family bonding dinner.

It seemed to be torture for everyone except Lily.

Eric was bored by Bart's talking, he was trying to relate to his future stepson, but it was the most uninteresting chat he had ever had.

Serena was just disgusted to be in the same room and Bart and Chuck. That was that.

Bart was uncomfortable being thrown into any sort of bonding thing, quite like his son.

Chuck wasn't tortured and disgusted by the proximity of the people he would call family one day because truth was he already did care about Lily, Serena, and Eric. What was horrifying was the way Serena and Bart were both glaring at him from time to time.

Finally, after the never-ending dinner was actually over, Serena pulled Chuck aside. She didn't want the rest of them to hear the conversation they were about to have.

"I know you hurt Blair, but I'm hoping that some part of your cold, dead heart still beats."

"Wow, thanks, Sis." He was happy he was going to get to start calling her that again.

"Blair might be pregnant, but she won't take the pregnancy test."

"What?" Oddly, he should've seen it coming, but it actually came as a surprise. "Wait, wait. Not possible we used a condom." he decided to stick with what he said the first time around.

"Well it must've broken! And it's not a surprise that it did by the way she explained how you guys were going at it."

He ignored what she had said about their rough sex and asked her, "But what about Nate?"

"What about him?" Serena seemed confused. "They broke up after the Gossip Girl blast. You can't blame him though."

"She didn't have sex with him?"

"She told me she lost her virginity, I only assumed it was Nate. I started seeing signs that she could be pregnant. And then she told me that _you_ were the one she had sex with."

"Wow." Everything was becoming very confusing to Chuck. He was trying to figure out the logic of it all.

"You need to convince her to take the test. I know you'll be able to."

"Why me? I'm probably the last person she wants to see right now." It was terrible to leave her like that, and some part of him did want to see her.

"I don't why, but in some strange way, I think she's in love with you."

"Oh, god. Please don't say that." Chuck squeezed his eyes shut and held the bridge of his nose like he was in deep pain.

"Please, Chuck. Just go and see her."

He nodded and went straight for the door, but was only stopped by his father. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I have something to take care of. It's important."

"Important as running off to Europe for two weeks?" Bart asked, sounding disappointed.

"I had a reason for that."

"I don't care if you did or not. You let me down. And as your punishment you can't come to the office after school."

"I'm getting punished now?"

"We're going to be a family and I think there should be some repercussion. It wouldn't be fair if you got away with everything and Serena and Eric didn't."

"Dad, it's not like a disobeyed your wishes. I go out of the country all the time. You never cared before."

"Bart, don't be so hard on him." Lily interrupted their fight.

"Please, Lily, I know how to handle my son."

"Fine! Ground me if that's what you want to do, even though I'm pretty sure I've never been grounded in my whole entire life, but right now I need to see someone."

Lily set her hand on Bart's shoulder, silently telling him to let Chuck go and do whatever he needs to do.

Chuck nodded a 'thanks' to Lily, "I'll be back later." And after that he was out the door.

While riding in his limo to Blair's, he thought about how she would react when she saw him.

Would she be angry? Sad? Maybe a little excited?

He just wished he knew how this encounter was going to turn out.

Once he got to her building and into the elevator, he tried to slow and steady his breathing. He needed to seem composed. She needed someone calm and clarified around her.

The elevator doors opened and he stepped out into her foyer. Right on cue, Dorota came quickly.

"Mr. Chuck." She sounded surprised to see him, he wondered what secrets Blair shared with her. "Can I help you?"

"I need to see Blair. Is she in her room?" He moved closer to the stairs.

"Uh, yes, but she may be asleep. She hasn't been feeling well lately."

"I'll just check and if she is, I'll leave."

Without waiting for another response from the doting maid, he hurried up the stairs.

He knocked on her door lightly, as to not disturb her if she was, in fact, sleeping.

"Yes?" Blair answered.

Chuck slowly opened the door and saw her lying in bed, but obviously far from sleep.

"Chuck?! What are you doing here?" She sounded so shocked that she was unable to feel any other emotion.

She jumped out of bed, wearing her silky nightgown, and shut the door behind him. "Wha- What-" She stuttered before deciding just to kiss him.

Blair held his face in her hands, and kissed his lips passionately. "I missed you." She said when it ended.

Chuck pulled her into his arms for an embrace, "Serena told me."

She groaned and pushed him away, "Is that why you came? Because Serena told you her big story about how I'm pregnant? Well, I'm not. You don't have to worry about being a father anytime soon."

"I came because I was worried about you. And I felt bad for letting you go through all this by yourself." he grabbed onto both of her hands.

"I'm not pregnant, Chuck!"

"Then you won't mind proving it to me." He suggested.

"Fine." She trudged over to her nightstand and pulled out the pregnancy test from the drawer. Then she stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

He waited, a few minutes or so. Or whoever long it took for the results to show up, it's not like he knew the exact time. No girl he'd ever been with had to take a pregnancy test…that he knew of.

Then, most likely from the anxiety of this situation, he began to get paranoid. How was he to know that one of the girl's he'd had sex with didn't end up pregnant? He could have children out there!

As soon as Blair exited from the bathroom, he realized that idea was crazy. If he had knocked up some chick, they would've contacted him and collected money since he was the filthy rich.

Blair walked over to where he was now sitting on the bed. She threw her arms around his neck, and didn't say a word.

Chuck only guessed it was a sign that she was relived. She was happy. Of course she was, she wasn't pregnant. He knew she wasn't pregnant because that wasn't how things had turned out.

"So?" He asked her as if he didn't already know the answer.

"You know how I said you didn't have to worry about being a father anytime soon…I guess I lied."

Chuck's eyes widened and he felt like his hear stopped beating.

"I'm pregnant." She whispered in his ear.

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I know this was a pretty short chapter, and I thought it was going to be longer. But I'm hoping the ending was good enough to make you forget how short it was.

I think I kept it centered around 'The Thin Line between Chuck and Nate' episode. It was one of my least favorite episodes (I **HATE** the part where Chuck is saying all the mean stuff to Blair when he's sitting at the bar.) and this was kind of how I wished it had turned out.

Don't forget to review and tell me what you think! Oh, and if you're going to write a bad review don't be stupid and do it anonymously. Go ahead, if you want to insult my writing, do it, but at least make it possible for me to reply to you. It's not like I'm going to cuss you out or anything.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm really sorry I haven't updated this in a LONG time. I've been busy and haven't really been motivated to write anymore of it. But some people haven't sent me messages to update it so I decided to update what I had of the next chapter so far.**

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"**I'm pregnant."**

**The words fell from her mouth like a glass and shattered when it hit the ground. **

**That's what Chuck felt like was happening to everything he had been working towards. It had shattered. **

**Blair held onto him as tightly as she could. Right now, she needed him more than ever. **

**He was limp, barely holding onto her. His surroundings were blurring as he tried to grasp his mind around this situation. "Impossible." He hadn't even meant to say it out loud, and it was whispered so lightly Blair might've not even heard it. **

**If she did hear it, she ignored it. She was just as stunned as Chuck was by this scary truth. Being pregnant would ruin her whole life. Nothing she had ever dreamed of would be possible.**

**Chuck wasn't thinking of himself at this point, except for how he'd screwed everything up. What he was most worried about was what all this was going to mean for Blair. It wasn't fair to her. **

"**What are we going to do?" He was able to say slowly.**

"**I don't know." Was the only thing she was able manage saying at the moment.**

"**Blair," Chuck pulled her away from his neck so he could look at her, "I'm so sorry."**

**She turned her head to her left and didn't look him in the eye. "Can we not talk about it right now?"**

"**Yeah." He nodded his head. He just wanted to be there for her and make her comfortable, so he shut his mouth about it. "What do you want to talk about?"**

"**Nothing…I lay down," Blair climbed onto her bed and pulled the blankets over her, "and not talk about anything."**

**The blankets were pulled up tightly around her neck, and Chuck thought she looked like a child who was afraid of the monster in her closet. **

**He kicked off his shoes and laid down on the bed, beside her. Slowly, he put a hand on her waist, not sure if she wanted to be touched.**

**Blair responded by inching closer to him, and closing her eyes. She only focused on her own heavy breathing. **

**All she wanted to do was sleep. Sleep was the only escape from the nightmare. If it was only for a few limited hours, she needed to escape.**

**The soft and gentle touch of Chuck's hand against her cheek soothed her. She'd never felt a man's hand as soft as his. **

**He touched every bit of her face. Smoothly going over every inch of skin. Her cheek bones, the bridge of her nose, the edges of her lips.**

**The sweet feeling of his touch sent her to sleep.**

**Only to be awaken by the scream of a baby.**

**Why was a baby in her house? **

**She got out of bed and started searching for the origin of this shrill.**

**The house she was in was not the same one she had fallen asleep in. It was like a mansion with two dozen rooms. Unfamiliar to her. **

**Blair walked down a long hall, knowing that in the room at the end of it was where the cries were coming from. **

**She opened the door. **

**In front of her stood a haggard looking Chuck. His hair was tousled and dark bags under his eyes showed how tired he was. All the youth that was in his eyes was gone. He seemed older, but not in a good way.**

"**It's your turn to take care of it." He said coldly.**

**Blair didn't understand what he was talking about. Take care of what?**

**Suddenly, he was holding a baby out to her. **

**Without being able to control her actions, she took the infant from him like he had wanted.**

**It was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen. It was brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. It's skin as pale and smooth as porcelain.**

**But Blair felt nothing for it. **

**She felt no love or happiness as she held the small child in her hands. **

**Her eyes lifted back up to Chuck. His expression was so sad as he looked down at the baby. **

**She saw he didn't feel anything either, as much as he wanted too. **

**Blair opened her eyes and found herself back in her own bedroom. **

"**Just a dream." She said out loud to herself.**

**Chuck stirred in his sleep, turning over and repositioning his arm around her. **

**Any other time she would've loved to have Chuck's arms wrapped around her, but in these circumstances she just felt painfully uncomfortable. **

**The only reason he was even there was because of that little living thing growing inside of her at that second. **

**She wasn't sure if her emotions made her a cold-hearted bitch, or if it was completely normal to feel this way.**

**Seventeen and pregnant after basically a one night stand. This wasn't what she wanted to be. This cliché was not for people with the rich and fabulous life. It would ruin her. She wouldn't be the same Blair Waldorf again. She would be Blair Waldorf who had Chuck Bass' baby at the sweet age of seventeen.**

**Another one of Chuck's movements made her turn to him and stare.**

**How would this effect him? He couldn't be a father. Chuck Bass ever being father was close to impossible to imagine, but Chuck Bass a father at 17? That was something ridiculous. **

**Blair put her hand on her stomach, close to where Chuck's arm was wrapped around her.**

**She thought back to when she had begged Chuck to have sex with her, now that was the worst thing she could've done. She now remembered another reason she had waited this long to have sex. Being pregnant ruined futures for teens. She could now forget about anything she ever wanted to do, since now the first thing she had to think of was that other human inside of her.**

**Feeling something churning in her stomach, Blair removed Chuck's arm from her body and stood from the bed. Her feet shuffled against the floor as she moved quickly into the bathroom.**

**Kneeling down in front of the toilet and pulling her hair back, she thought of how she had put herself here many times before, but now she was spewing because of morning sickness. **

**She flushed and moved to the sink to clean herself up again. **

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**I know it's not very much! Sorry :/ If you guys still like it I'll try to write more.**


	10. Chapter 10

Wow, sorry guys. This has taken me forever to write and upload. I know you guys were very upset with the whole teen pregnancy plot, and trust me I don't like those story lines either. (Breaking Dawn was my least favorite Twilight novel if that proves anything to you. I hated it.) So here's to hoping that you guys don't think this is god awful! Last chapter…

Blair splashed her face with water and stared at herself in the mirror for a long while. She was hoping that if she stared long enough the answer to her huge problem would come to her.

"What are you doing?" Chuck asked from where he was no sitting on her bed.

He had startled her and she turned around to face him, "Nothing." She wiped away a tear that had begun trickling down her cheek.

"Well what are we going to do?" He asked, referring to their bad situation.

"I don't know, Chuck." Blair didn't like him asking. How was she supposed to decide on what to do after one night? She doubted he had done any serious thinking. Obviously, he wanted her to do all the decision-making.

"Well…we better decide soon."

"I know!" She yelled at him, then frustrated covered her face with her hands and tried to breath evenly. "I think it's best if you leave."

He hesitated, not wanting to leave her like this, "Are you sure?"

"Yes! You're not really helping me." She crossed her arms and waited for him to get up and leave.

"Sorry." He muttered. Before walking out he kissed her forehead. He acted like he had something else to say but kept it to himself.

After Chuck gently shut the door she collapsed onto the bed.

Blair sat at the dining table as Dorota set food and coffee around her. She stared off, looking at nothing, but her mind was going crazy.

"You're so fucking stupid!" She screamed to herself in her head. "How could this happen? No! No! No! This can't be happening!"

"Miss Blair are you feeling alright?" Dorota asked in a concerned voice.

She forced the words, "I'm fine," out of her mouth.

"Mr. Chuck stayed the night?" Apparently, she was determined to get something out of Blair.

"Yes." Was the only thing she said in return. She didn't want Dorota to know about anything. She didn't want _anyone_ to know about_ anything._ She would need to convince Serena to keep her mouth shut.

Eleanor walked in a minute later, and Blair thought of how disappointed she would be.

Surely, her mother would send her to some other country to have the baby. She would say it was for her own good and she was only thinking of her future. But really it would be because she would be too ashamed to even look at her own daughter.

Eleanor sat down beside Blair without saying anything. She laid a napkin in her lap and took a sip of the coffee that was set before her.

Blair watched her and waited for her to say something, but she soon made it clear she had no intention of talking. "Good morning, Mother." She said in a bitter tone.

"I saw Chuck Bass leaving this morning," was her only reply.

"And? Do you have a problem with that?"

"Just as long as you're okay with being another one of his whores."

"It's not like that." She reassured her.

But Eleanor didn't seem to listen, "Sure he's attractive, but I thought you were better than that."

Blair clenched her fists under the table.

"Serena is the one who can pull stuff like that off, darling. Not you."

Sure that hurt Blair's feelings and made her want to scream and tell her mother to shut her mouth, but Blair was more dignified than that. If she lost her temper than the last strands that were holding her together would disappear and she would break down.

So instead she decided to excuse herself to hold it all together. "Uh, Mother I forgot that I was supposed to meet Serena for breakfast this morning. I'm sorry, but I don't want to blow her off." Blair explained while getting up from her chair and setting her napkin on the table.

"Oh, of course, dear. I completely understand. Tell her hello for me." She said with a smile.

"I will." She faked a smile back and headed for the elevator.

Once she reached the ground floor she ran for the door, she continued running down the sidewalk in any direction. She didn't care where she was going. Her life was over as she knew it. Nothing mattered anymore. She was no longer in control.

Even if she ran into somebody she didn't bother stopping. She stumbled once or twice but got right back up and started again. It was her only escape right now.

The breeze through her hair was gentle and nice.

She didn't stop until she was totally out of breath and by that time she was one block away from Central Park.

Blair took a seat on a bench there and rested for awhile. Luckily she had opted for flaps rather than heals today or her feet would have been killing her.

Once she was no longer moving, everything she had been running from floated back to mind. Pregnancy.

She wanted to die. Right then, right there. She wished the tree that was hanging over the bench would fall over and crush her. No-she wanted to have a death that would keep every part of her nicely intact, she wanted to be the most beautiful corpse ever. People would marvel over her dead body in the casket and notice how much of her luster and grace had stayed with her through death. So, she scratched the falling tree idea off the list.

Her life was falling apart before her eyes, she could feel everything slipping away from her grasp, and all she could think about was how much she wished something would kill her suddenly. Suddenly and not painfully.

And for the first time she really thought about the human life growing inside her. Parts of Chuck and herself combined to make another human being.

It would be amazing if she was ten years older and she was happily married to Chuck. But now it was just frightening.

Blair knew she couldn't do this.

Sitting alone on the park bench, she cried. Mournful sobs because of the revelation of what she had to do.

She wasn't having this baby.

Chuck sat alone at a bar with an untouched glass. He'd been mulling over whether to take a drink or slide it across the counter and leave for some time now.

He was a father. Well, not officially. There was no baby sitting directly in front of him that was calling him Daddy. But there was something. Something small that would one day be big enough to sit in front of him.

There was a choice to make.

If Chuck continued to sit on that stool and eventually put the glass of scotch to his lips, he knew he would never be a good father.

But on the other hand, if he let go of it and exited the bar, there might be a chance for him to care for another person after all.

It was really all his decision. Blair had to make the decision on what she wanted to do, but this was his.

Chuck thought of everything that had brought him to this. All the things that this dilemma was a result of.

Things like how his father was never there for him when he needed him the most, or how he'd tried to commit suicide, one time succeeding, and how it was the most selfish thing he'll ever do.

Then there was Blair. And all the things she had had to go through because of him.

It wasn't a tough a choice as he thought it would be once he considered that.

Could he really be that much of a prick to sit there and get drunk when the girl he was in love with was dealing with their joint crisis alone.

The scotch splashed to the rim of the glass when he slid it away from his hand. He got his do-nothing ass off the stool and walked out the door to find Blair.

There were no words to explain the fear that Blair was feeling.

Did she have doubts? Of course she did. Any human being with a beating heart would have doubts.

Did she feel as though she was being self-absorbed? She tried to tell herself that it was best for the baby as well, that nobody could grow up remotely sane with Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf as their biological parents.

Did she want someone with her at that moment? Yes. Walking alone to a place that she could only imagine was a horrifically unsanitary and frightening, she wanted someone with her terribly. But there was no way she was having Chuck come with her…but Serena. Serena had been her best friend as long as she could remember and she was just keeping her out? Blair shook the thought from her mind and continued on to the destination. Serena would only cloud her judgment. She'd attempt to convince her that this wasn't the right plan or it was too soon for her to decide.

Blair had made up her mind and she was sticking to it. She had to. It was the only reasonable ending to this fated mistake. Just make it end.

She was a stone cold bitch. Queen of the Upper East Side. Nothing could make her fall. She held her chin up high. She didn't care for anyone but herself. Blair was the only person that existed in the world, everyone else was just made up. She was the reason for everyone else's existence. She was a bitch.

Thinking of herself as cruel was the only thing enabling one leg to cross over the other and put her foot to the ground.

"Do you know where Blair is?" Chuck burst through Serena's door and demanded an answer.

"Uh, no…Is everything okay?" She eyed him up and down, curiously.

"I just need to know where she is. She's not at home, I've called her about a dozen times and she never picks up." He started pacing around Serena's bedroom, but then stopped himself. Chuck Bass didn't pace. The gut feeling he had was making him anxious.

"Well, why do you need to talk to her so bad?"

"Serena, are you that dumb? Blair is pregnant, she's not at home, neither Dorota nor her mom knows where she is, and she's not answering her phone when I call! What if she's doing something completely stupid without thinking it through?"

Without responding to Chuck, Serena picked up her phone, dialed, and listened to it ring.

"Hello?" Blair answered with a shaky voice.

"Blair! Where are you?"

Chuck stared intently at Serena's face to assess how she responded to Blair's answer that he could not hear.

"I don't want to tell you." Although she was trying to hide it, her sobbing was obvious.

"What? Blair, please don't tell me…" She trailed off and covered her mouth. She knew where Blair was. Just like Chuck knew where Blair was. He could feel it and now Serena could feel it.

Chuck tore the phone away from Serena before she could even try to hold onto it. "Blair, tell me where you are!", he commanded, "please." He added in a heartbreakingly soft tone.

As soon as Blair uttered the words out of her mouth, he tossed the phone onto the bed and tore out of the room.

Serena slowly picked up the phone, trying to hold in her tears, "Blair?"

"Serena, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you…but I knew I couldn't. You'd talk me out of it."

"I wouldn't talk you out of it if you knew it was the right thing to do." She wept silently.

"I knew it was. I knew that having an abortion was the best solution for everyone." She choked on the word _everyone_.

Serena let the phone fall out of her hands, because the word finally confirmed it. The whole conversation could've been a big misunderstanding until the word inevitably left her mouth. Abortion.

Chuck weaved in an out of business men and clueless tourists. He moved as fast as he could in the expensive, and somewhat uncomfortable, shoes he was wearing. He was heading toward the only clinic that he'd seen on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.

He hoped and hoped for the possibility that he would get there before it was too late.

He'd already accepted his responsibility and now it was being torn away from him.

People screamed at him to watch where he was going while pushed them out of his way.

Across the street was the clinic. Chuck stood on the curb, but just before he was about to dart across the road, Blair appeared on the other curb.

She looked back at him with tear filled eyes. It had been done.

And without thinking about anything, Blair ran across the asphalt road towards Chuck.

Maybe she'd made the reckless move on purpose, or maybe it was a complete accident.

Chuck had no time to yell out anything to her before he heard the screech of the tires and saw the headlights on Blair. He closed his eyes and only heard a thud.

And once again, it had been done. There was nothing he could do.

He moved it what was a dream like state toward Blair. He didn't fully comprehend what had happened until he collapsed onto his knees and took her in his arms. She was covered in blood, but he held her as close as possible.

This was on him. He had been given a second chance to right his wrongs, but he'd fallen back into what had happened in the beginning. Only much worse.

He squeezed his eyes as tight as possible while rocking back and forth on his knees, he thought of any possible moment he could go back to change all this back. But nothing happened. The dead Blair was still tightly pulled to his chest. He cried into her hair.

He had been allotted only one second chance.

I know it was short, but I needed to be done with this totally uninspired story. I would love feedback. Rip me a new one, tell me how much you hate it…or also tell me if you possibly liked it.

I hope my next story, I don't know what that is yet but I do have a few little things here and there, will be as good as 'He Can't Have Her' and not disappoint. Thank you for reading.


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